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Sabrina The Teenage Witch - View Transcript

A Doll's Story

Written By -Carrie Honigblum & Renee Phillips
Transcribed By - Paul Booth

Cast

Sabrina - Melissa Joan Hart
Hilda - Caroline Rhea
Zelda - Beth Broderick
Salem - Nick Bakay
Harvey - Nate Richert
Valerie - Lindsey Sloan
Amanda - Emily Hart
The Quizmaster - Alimi Ballard
Ralphie - Paul Dooley
Carol - Donna D’Errico
Dr. Rafkin - Paul Sand
Receptionist/Orion - Tim Herzog
Mini-Barman - Michael Irpino
Flight Attendant - Luck Hart
Madam Dermis - Darlene Kardon

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in this transcript, nor do I own any rights to the television show Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. It was created by Nell Scovell and belongs to her, Viacom Productions Inc, Hartbreak Films, and the ABC Television network. The characters are based on the original characters appearing in Archie Comics.

 

Int. Spellman Kitchen. Salem sits on the counter, Hilda is eating a bowl of cereal at the kitchen table while Zelda works on her lap-top. Sabrina walks to the table and sits with a soda and straw. Hilda’s at the bottom of her bowl and slurps the excess milk off her spoon, She then pick up the bowl and slurps straight from it. Zelda has had enough

Zelda- Stop!

Hilda- What?

Zelda- Slurping, you know I can’t stand that noise.

Hilda- Sorry, I’m finished anyway.

She gets up and takes the bowl to the counter sink.

Salem- Hey, don’t throw that used milk out.

Hilda puts the bowl down for him. Salem smells at it.

Salem- (Cont.) Oh. Impertinent but lightly frosted.

Hilda walks back to the table where Zelda is typing on the computer.

Hilda- Talk about annoying noises...

She leans over Zelda and rattles her fingers over the keyboard.

Hilda- (Cont.) Clickety ckick, clickety click.

Zelda- Fine, I’ll answer my E-mail later.

Hilda has picked up her nail file and is smoothing off a burr.

Zelda- (Cont.) You're doing that on purpose.

Hilda- I chipped a nail.

She continues with the file.

Hilda- (Cont.) Now, I’m doing it on purpose.

Zelda- O-ho. Two can play at that game Sister.

She points her finger towards the street and every car alarm on the block sets off making a racket.

Hilda- Why you...

She points at the counter and a balloon appears. she picks it up and licks her fingers

Hilda- (Cont.) Care for a little squeaky balloon, my pretty?

Zelda cringes at the sound and stands.

Zelda- This means war.

She magic’s a chalk board in the middle of the kitchen and picks up Salem and is about to draw his claws down the board.

Salem- Ooooohhhhh!

Sabrina- STOP! Can we please have a little peace and quiet around here?

Zelda- She’s right.

Sabrina picks up her soda and starts slurping the last of it through the straw noisily.

Salem- Let's get her.

All three move forward threateningly

Run opening credits.

Int. Spellman living room, Zelda and Hilda are packing suit cases, Salem sits watching on the cupboard behind the settee that Sabrina is sat on thumbing through her magic hand book.

Sabrina- So you think you guys really need some time apart?

Zelda- Yes, after five centuries of living together we’re starting to get on each others nerves.

Hilda- We haven’t bickered this much since we picked opposite sides in the civil war.

Sabrina- So why are you two going to the same spa?

Zelda- They had a two for one special

Hilda- But we have separate rooms. We aren’t even going to see each other. (To Zelda) You packed my tooth brush right?

Zelda signals yes as the phone rings. Salem answers it.

Salem- Bueno? Oh Hi! (To Hilda and Zelda) It’s cousin Marigold. She wants to talk to one of you.

Sabrina reaches back for the phone to hand it to Hilda.

Hilda- No, you talk to her.

She casts a Spell forcing Sabrina’s arm to shoot to the opposite side of the settee where Zelda is stood.

Zelda- No, you talk to her

Zelda copies Hilda’s spell sending Sabrina’s arm and the phone back to her sister. Hilda sends it back with Zelda resisting and it ends up stuck straight up in the air with Sabrina’s arm still attached.

Sabrina- Somebody talk to her.

Zelda reaches for the phone.

Zelda- Fine! (To phone) Hello Marigold. U-hu! Oh darn, we’d love to baby-sit Amanda but we can’t, we’re going away.

Hilda- Oh God bless the Spa.

Zelda- (Cont.) Sabrina? No! No! No! That’s a very bad idea. Sabrina doesn’t need a hundred dollars.

Sabrina- Hey!

Zelda- (Cont.) Would you hold a minute?

She levitates the phone putting it on hold. It sits beside her in thin air as she turns to Sabrina.

Zelda- It’s not worth it, honey.

Zelda- I wouldn’t take on that brat for less than a Grand.

Sabrina- I think I can handle a nine-year old.

Zelda- Sabrina, Amanda’s a full witch, you're half mortal.

The phone gets impatient and taps Zelda on the shoulder.

Zelda- (To the phone) Just a minute!

Sabrina- I wanna do this.

She taking the phone.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Hi Marigold. Yeah, I’ll watch Amanda. Great. I can’t wait. Okay, thanks.

Sabrina turns off the phone.

Sabrina- Amanda says we’ll be having fun before I know it.

No sooner said than Sabrina’s face is stuck in a huge smile with brightly painted lips.

Hilda- Whoa!

Zelda- Oh dear, Amanda was able to do that all the way from the Other Realm.

Unable to move her mouth Sabrina has a little trouble talking.

Sabrina- Na-ha! I’m just practising for a beauty pageant... Aw!

She tries to press her aching cheek back in.

Int. Spellman upstairs landing Hilda and Zelda are ready to leave for the Spa with their bags Sabrina comes up with them to receive last minute instructions

Zelda- Okay, you have our number.

Hilda- Keep the doors locked.

Salem- (OS) And don’t forget to feed the cat!

Sabrina- I’ve got it.

The closet door flashes lightning and rumbles.

Sabrina- Oh, well Amanda’s here.

The closet door opens and a flight attendant steps in.

Flight Attendant- Hello. I’m here to relinquish a minor to a Miss Sabrina Spellman.

Sabrina- That’s me.

A pretty nine year old girl walks in wearing a pink coat and fur trimmed hat and pulling a large pink chest on wheels behind her.

Sabrina- Hi Amanda.

Amanda- Hi!

Zelda- (To flight Attendant) I hope she wasn’t too much trouble.

Flight attendant- I’m Retiring (To Amanda) Thank you for flying Other Real Air.

The flight Attendant ducks through the linen closet door as quickly as possible. Amanda hands Sabrina a small packet

Amanda- I’ve saved my peanuts for us to have together.

Sabrina- Thanks! (To her aunts) See, we’re sharing.

Zelda- Well okay, we’re off to the Spa.

There’s a crash of thunder and a bright light and Hilda and Zelda are gone. Sabrina looks at the large pink chest on wheels.

Sabrina- What do you have there?

Amanda- My toy-box. I never leave home without it.

Amanda barges past Sabrina headed for Sabrina’s bedroom dragging the toy box over Sabrina’s toe in the process. Sabrina winces and hops.

Sabrina- That’s okay, it was just a bone.

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Sabrina limps in after Amanda

Sabrina- Amanda I have some crayons and colouring books.

Amanda- Knock yourself out.

Sabrina sits on the chaise lounge at the foot of her bed and nurses her toe as Amanda looks around the room. She spots something on the table that takes her fancy. A small glass trinket box.

Amanda- (Cont.) Whoa! I wanna play with this.

She picks up the box.

Sabrina- Oh no! Harvey gave me that, please put that down.

She uses magic to try and take it from Amanda but Amanda uses magic to resist and a magical tug of war begins.

Amanda- But I’m the guest.

Sabrina- Amanda, I’ve asked you nicely. Give it to me.

It hovers precariously in the air.

Amanda- I wanna play with it.

The forces of magic prove to much and the small glass box drops to the floor and breaks with a tinkle.

Amanda- (Cont.) Okay, you can have it.

She moves round the bed to see what else there is to play with as Sabrina kneels to pick up the pieces of trinket box.

Sabrina- Okay, I’m sure Harvey’s family has other priceless heirlooms.

Amanda spots Salem on the bed

Amanda- Oh Kitty, do you want to play?

Salem- I don’t do play.

Amanda- But you're so small. I like things big.

She casts a spell and Salem grows to the size and demeanour of a black panther.

Sabrina- Salem!

Salem roars showing a fine set of canines

Sabrina- (Cont.) Amanda! He’s out to claw, turn him back.

Amanda- Fine.

She reverses the spell returning Salem to his normal size.

Salem- I wanted to eat you. I feel so cheap.

Int. Spa Giovanni's reception, Zelda and Hilda arrive, there’s a receptionist behind the counter

Receptionist- Welcome to Spa Giovanni's, where you can feel supernatural naturally. Complimentary seaweed juice?

He hands over two glasses

Hilda- (To Zelda) Like there’s any other kind.

Receptionist- It may be pure seaweed, but with our special blend you’ll swear it’s soy milk.

Hilda and Zelda sip from their glasses.

Zelda- Tangy!

Hilda- Ow, it’s the seaweediest!

They hand back the barely touched glasses.

Receptionist- Orion will show you to your room.

Hilda- Zzz! Room-zzz!

Receptionist- I’m sorry. We saw Spellman for two and assumed you were married.

Hilda- Now you see that you were very, very wrong.

Zelda- Lawsuit wrong!

Receptionist- It is near the ice-machine.

Int. Spellman living room. Amanda picks up a red checkers piece and jumps three black pieces.

Amanda- Yes!

She jumps up dancing on the settee.

Amanda- (Cont.) I wi-in! I wi-in! I wi-in! I wi-in!...

Sabrina- You beat me at all these games...

She indicates a variety of games on the coffee table

Sabrina- (Cont.) ...and yet you remain a graceful winner.

Amanda- I wi-in! I wi-in! I wi-in! Let's put make-up on Salem.

Salem- I’m not playing La cage-o-kitty.

Sabrina- We’ve been playing for hours. I’ve got an idea let's play being apart

Amanda- No, I want you to play with me.

Sabrina- Why don’t you watch TV?

She turns on the TV set only to see Amanda’s face on the screen.

Amanda- (From the TV) I said, play with me.

The front door-bell rings and Sabrina gets up to answer.

Sabrina- Amanda! Get out of the TV. You're going to ruin your eyes.

Amanda- (In the TV) But I wanna play.

Sabrina has reached the door and uses the remote to turn Amanda off before answering. It’s Valerie

Sabrina- Hey!

Valerie- Hey! what’s up?

Sabrina- Not much, just, er yelling at something annoying on TV.

Valerie- I was just invited to a party.

Sabrina- At seven o’clock?

Valerie- Well I wasn’t exactly invited but people saw me hear about it and didn’t warn me to keep away. D’ya wanna come?

Sabrina- Gee I’d love to, since they went to so much trouble not to ban us, but I can’t. I’m baby-sitting my little cousin.

Valerie- Well I can’t go to a party alone. Let me change that, I can’t go to Another party alone.

Amanda- Alright! Someone new to play with.

Valerie- Oh she’s so cute

Sabrina- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! What’s your blood type?

Int. Spa Giovanni's, the Spellman room. Hilda and Zelda enter and drop their bags, Hilda looks around.

Hilda- Oh Goody! Mini-bar.

She opens the Mini-Bar to find the Mini-barman mixing a cocktail

Mini-Barman- Martini?

Zelda- Don’t waste your money on that stuff, there’s a convenience mart right across the Galaxy.

Hilda- You have got to get into the spa spirit. (To Mini-barman) I’ll have a seltzer with lemon please.

The Mini-barman hands her the drink and she closes the Mini-bar. She’s just about to take her first sip when there’s a knock from the Mini-bar. She opens the Mini-bar again.

Mini-Barman- Macadamia nuts?

Hilda- Now you're pushy.

She closes the Mini-bar. and joins Zelda who is looking through the list of treatments available.

Zelda- Hmm, there’s so much to choose from. I think I’ll have the Solar Bronzing Treatment.

She marks it on her list.

Disembodied voice- Solar Bronzing Treatment, confirmed.

Hilda- Oh, I want one of those.

Disembodied voice- Solar Bronzing Treatment, confirmed.

As Hilda marks her list, Zelda scrubs the mark of hers.

Zelda- Quit copying. The point was to spend quality time away from each other.

Disembodied voice- Solar Bronzing Treatment, cancelled.

Zelda- I guess I’ll just go with an Essential Honey Dip.

Hilda- (Reading) 'You are dipped into a human sized Bee hive. You emerge soft and supple, with just a little bit of a buzz' Cool! I’m gonna do that.

Disembodied voice- Essential Honey Dip, confirmed.

Zelda- Hilda! Pick something else.

Hilda- Okay!

Disembodied voice- Essential Honey Dip, cancelled.

Zelda- I’ll have the Essential Honey Dip. (To Disembodied voice) Am I confirmed?

Disembodied voice- Okay! I can see why you wanted two rooms.

There’s a knock at the door, it’s the handsome Orion. They both jump up.

Orion- Who ordered the Essential Honey Dip?

Hilda and Zelda- (Simultaneously) Me!

Orion- Follow me ladies.

Zelda- (To Hilda) Why don’t we have someone sew us together?

Hilda- I hope you get a bee up your nose.

Int. Spellman living room. Amanda lays down a straight flush.

Amanda- Yes! I wi-in! I wi-in!

Sabrina- Of cou-rse! Of cou-rse!

Valerie- She always has the right cards. It’s like magic or something.

The front door-bell rings and Sabrina gets up to answer.

Sabrina- (To Amanda) Just talk, nothing more, okay?

Amanda- (To Valerie) I’m from the fourth Galaxy of the Other Realm. Where are you from?

Valerie- I’m from a big castle in Never-never land.

Amanda- You're delusional.

Sabrina opens the door.

Sabrina- Harvey! Hi.

Harvey enters and walks to the living room.

Harvey- Word's out that there’s a party.

Valerie- Wow! I actually got the word first? Looks like my popularity standings on the rise... I am delusional.

Amanda- I wanna go to the party! I wanna go to the party!

Sabrina- No way! You can’t leave this house.

Amanda- I wanna go to the party!

In her anger steam flies from her ears and Sabrina clamps her hands over the steaming ears and turns to Harvey and Valerie.

Sabrina- She’s kinda having a meltdown, maybe you guys should go.

Valerie- (To Harvey) Well, will you act like you're with me?

Harvey- Sure!

Valerie- And call me Cookie?

Harvey looks at her oddly, then he sniff's the air.

Harvey- Is something burning?

Sabrina- Er, let me know how the party is.

Harvey and Valerie leave and Sabrina and Amanda walk back into the living room.

Amanda- So. What do you wanna play now?

Sabrina- A hundred dollars sounded like so much money. Amanda, I have to clean up. Don’t you have a nice doll you can play with?

Amanda- Good idea!

She points at Sabrina and cast a spell, Sabrina begins to shrink where she sits on the settee. Her clothes change to a blue gingham with a white pinafore and white socks. when she stops shrinking she is seven inches tall and has stiff plastic arms and legs with a rubber head. Amanda picks up her new doll by it’s leg and heads for the stairs.

Amanda- We’re going to have so much fun.

Sabrina doll- You are in so much trouble young lady... Ow! Aw! Ow! Ow!

That last caused by her being bumped against each step along the way as they go up the stairs.

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom, Amanda is pouring make-believe tea into a china tea set Sabrina is sat stiff legged on a pile of books stacked on a chair. Salem is also sat in a chair sporting a natty outfit and a frilly cap.

Amanda- D'ya want a little more tea? I’ll be right back with some more crumpets.

She leaves.

Sabrina- (To Salem) This is so humiliating.

Salem- You? I’m wearing pantaloons.

Sabrina- How’d this happen? I’m the big witch.

Salem- Sabrina, look the other way when you talk, you're creeping me out.

Amanda returns with a plate of marsh-mallows.

Amanda- Here we go.

Sabrina- Okay Amanda, we’ve had fun. Now turn me back and I’ll help you get ready for bed.

Amanda- I’m not going to bed. You're going to bed and Salem and I are going to stay up and play.

Salem sobs as Amanda picks up the Sabrina doll and drops it unceremoniously into her toy box.

Sabrina- You're not going to get away wi...

Her voice is cut off by the thunk of the toy-box lid.

Int. Amanda’s toy-box. Sabrina sits slumped on the floor. Other toys are strewn about, A stuffed Panda, a Teddy bear with a ‘hug me’ heart shaped badge round its neck. a Barbi doll in a tight fitting pink dress with multicoloured hair that’s seen better days and a muscle bound action figure with a stylised M on his chest. Sabrina sits up and the Teddy bear stands up.

Ralphie- Welcome to the box.

Sabrina- Who are you?

Ralphie- I was an Ice-cream man. Then I told Amanda we were out of chocolate. You don’t have a cigarette do ya?

Sabrina shakes her head. Ralphie wanders off as the Barbi doll comes over and helps the stiff limbed Sabrina doll to her feet.

Carol- I’m Carol. I used to be her hairdresser; now she mine. Felt pen.

Sabrina- Oowch!

Then it was the Action figures turn.

Dr. Rafkin- I’m Dr. Rafkin, I used to be Amanda’s Dentist but now I’m an <yawn!> Action-figure.

Sabrina- So what are your powers?

Dr. Rafkin- I sleep about eighteen hour a day

Carol- So what’s your story?

Sabrina- Well. I’m Sabrina and I was Amanda’s baby-sitter.

Ralphie- Well Sabrina, you're never getting outa here. None of us are ever getting outa here.

Sabrina- I think somebody needs a hug.

Ralphie- Ah! It’s an accessory.

Ext. Spa Giovanni's. Hilda and Zelda are lay on sun-loungers catching some rays.

Hilda- Oh that Honey dip was great but my Bee was such a talker. She just droned on and on.

Zelda- Mine was such a name dropper. The Queen this and the Queen that.

Enter the handsome Orion.

Orion- Hi ladies. Sorry about the room mix up but this might cheer you up. I’ve just heard that Madam Epi Dermis has just had a cancellation.

Hilda- The Madam Dermis? She does the most famous facials in all the Realm.

Zelda- I’ve heard that she has to book her appointments fifty years in advance.

Orion- Oh her technique is so fabulous that your face feels as if it’s actually been grafted with baby butt-skin.

Hilda- I want a baby butt-skin face!

Zelda- No! I do!

Orion- Well one of you should get over there and grab that once in a lifetime appointment.

Hilda- Dibs!

Zelda- Wait! We can’t do this. If one of us takes that facial the other will always resent it.

Hilda- You're right... It’s worth it.

Zelda- No!

Hilda- Oh fine! Then we’ll both be unhappy.

Zelda- Yes, unhappy but free from resentment.

Hilda resents that remark.

Zelda- (Cont.) Well not right away.

Int. Amanda’s toy-box. Sabrina is trying to undo a screw with her plastic hands. She fails. The rest of the toys are just sat doing nothing. Ralphie’s reading, Carol’s painting her nails and Dr. Rafkin is having a nap.

Sabrina- Come on you guys, there’s gotta be a way outa here.

Ralphie- There is a front door, we just never use it.

Sabrina looks down at herself.

Sabrina- Where’s my other shoe?

Carol- You're a doll, you’ll never have two shoes again.

Sabrina- I can figure this out. I’ve just got to use my... rubber head? I’ve got an idea. AMANDA! AMAN-DA!

Carol- (To Ralphie) The new one are always so optimistic.

Ralphie- Could you not talk to me.

The lid of the box opens revealing the giant sized head of Amanda

Amanda- What? I’m playing Giddy-up with Salem.

Salem- (OS) Who is it? Please someone, feed me poison!

Sabrina's stood cross legged.

Sabrina- Amanda, I have to go to the bathroom!

Amanda- You're not a Betsy Wetsy.

The toy-box lid closes with a thump, waking Dr. Rafkin.

Dr. Rafkin- Was that fresh air?

Ralphie- (To Sabrina) You're not a Betsy Wetsy are ya?

Int. Spellman Living room. Salem is perched on the end of a green plastic seesaw on the shape of a Crocodile. Amanda is working the other end.

Amanda- And up and down and up and down and up and down and up...

With the aid of her foot she launches Salem across the room.

Salem- I hate my life!

Int. Amanda’s toy-box. Carol is brushing out Sabrina’s polyester hair.

Carol- Y’know Sabrina, we’ve all been out of the box.

Sabrina- Really?

Dr. Rafkin- The problem is you're still only ten inches tall and real easy to step on.

Ralphie- I spent two weeks in a vacuum cleaner once. Ate a penny to stay alive.

Dr. Rafkin- She’s never going to change us back.

Sabrina- Dr. Rafkin, superhero’s don’t whine.

Dr. Rafkin- I’m not a superhero. I’m a periodontist, I drive a stationwagon.

Ralphie- Well it’s official, I’m in hell.

Sabrina spots the toy phone.

Sabrina- Too bad that phone doesn’t work.

Phone- I do. I was Amanda’s next door neighbour.

Carol- Don’t ask. Yakyakyakyakyak!

Sabrina picks up the receiver and starts to dial.

Phone- Watch my dial, I’m ticklish.

Sabrina- I’ll call my aunts and they’ll fix everything.

In a flash of negative the Quizmaster arrives in the box.

Quizmaster- Love the gingham.

Sabrina- Great! You can fix everything.

Quizmaster- Oh no I can’t. I’m here to give you a quiz for your witches licence.

Sabrina- I’m never going to be happy to see you am I?

Quizmaster- Well Sabrina, this is the perfect opportunity to test you on your witch ingenuity.

The Quizmaster turns his back and Sabrina makes her move, leaping on to his back and clinging on as best she can with limbs that wont bend.

Sabrina- Don’t make me hurt you. Get me outa this box.

Dr. Rafkin- And take us with you.

Ralphie- Or at least take him.

Sabrina’s grip isn’t that good and the Quizmaster is able to prise her off.

Quizmaster- Sorry guys, Amanda locked the spell. Sabrina, your quiz is that you have to get everyone out of this box by yourself. Now, isn’t learning fun?

The Quizmaster snaps his fingers and leaves Sabrina to it.

Sabrina- Isn’t learning fun? There’s gotta be a way outa here. I’ve just gotta think.

She walks over to the dolls house bed and sits on the edge forgetting that her legs wont bend and tips over onto her back.

Sabrina- I’m blind! I’m BLIND!

Carol helps Sabrina up.

Carol- Sit up. You're just not used to your doll eyes.

Sabrina- Phew! That’s better.

Ralphie- Way to go! That could have entertained us for at least a minute.

Int. Spa Giovanni's The Spellman room. The Spellman Sister’s have been shopping and are looking through their purchases. Zelda picks up a pair of flip-flops with big plastic Daisy’s on them.

Zelda- Thank you for talking me into buying these.

Hilda- I love your Daisy shoeses.

Hilda is trying to get into a plastic wrapped pack of soap. The plastic crackles.

Zelda- You know, that noise isn’t making me want to rip my skin off.

Hilda- I know, It’s amazing. You haven’t bugged me in hours. I think I’m going to go for a little walk, Wanna come?

Zelda- No, I’m in the mood for a little nap.

Zelda heads for the bed as Hilda heads for the door.

Hilda- Well I’ll just walk by myself then.

She leaves, Zelda lies down on the bed. There’s a knocking sound. The Mini-bar door opens.

Mini-barman- You know what makes a great sleep aid? Belgian chocolates.

Zelda tosses a pillow, It’s a good toss and knocks the pushy Mini-barman flat.

Int. Amanda’s toy-box, Sabrina is using an outsized blue crayon to draw up her plans.

Sabrina- Okay, I think I have a plan and I’ll need your help.

Ralphie- You can really read people can’t ya?

Sabrina- Come on. If we bend our talents together I know we can do it. There’s power in numbers. It takes a village. Cry FREEDOM!

Her stirring speech is met by a wave of apathy by the rest of the toys.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Nothing?

Carol- I’ll help you Sabrina.

Sabrina- Whoo-Hoo!

Carol- (To Ralphie) Like we’re so busy.

Dr. Rafkin- I’m in, but you should know that I have no upper body strength.

Sabrina- Come on Ralphie? Power to the toys!

Ralphie- Fine, it’ll give me something fresh to be bitter about.

Sabrina- Alright! POWER TO THE TOY’S! POWER TO THE TOY’S!

There’s no response from the rest.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Let's get to work.

'The Impression that I get' by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones starts and continues through the following

Everyone's scrabbling in a tool-box, fighting over who gets the wrench and grabbing crayons, Sabrina directing operations as Carol paints and Ralphie saws

There's a part constructed box with Sabrina checking the plans as the other three position the lid.

Ralphie's pulling on a rope that’s caught up on the rocking horse that Sabrina’s sat on. Sabrina helps to release the caught rope and Ralphie goes flying.

Everyone's banging nails into the box. Dr. Rafkin looking pooped leaning on the box. He makes an effort to lift his hammer and tap a nail then has to put it down again for a rest.

Carol, Sabrina and Ralphie are painting the box. Ralphie stops to take a drink from a huge babies milk-bottle and leans back to far. Sabrina stops him falling over backwards.

Ralphie puts a winding arm in the side of the large colourful box with A B C painted on the side. The job is complete and it’s high five’s all round

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom as the song fades. Amanda is looking under the bed with a cotton swab in her hand.

Amanda- Salem? Time to play cat hospital. (To self) This cotton swab is way to small, I like things big.

She puts the swab on the bed and casts her make thing big spell. The Cotton swab resembles a pugal stick from Gladiators. She picks it up and continues to look for Salem.

Amanda- Somebody needs their ears cleaned. Salem!

She looks in Sabrina’s wardrobe but doesn’t look up at Sabrina’s school bag hanging on the back of the wardrobe door that Salem is hiding in. Amanda closes the door and sighs in annoyance.

Int. Amanda’s toy-box,

Sabrina- Okay everybody, you know what to do.

Dr. Rafkin- How do you know when you're bleeding internally?

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Amanda has given up her search for Salem and is sat bored on the chase lounge tossing her large cotton swab up and down.

Amanda- Hmm, what else can I do with this?

She sees the items on Sabrina’s desk and thinks a little random property damage might be fun. She uses the swab like a pool cue to knock items off the desk. Just then a whooping and hollering noise emanates from the toy-box.

Amanda- What’s that noise?

She stops trashing Sabrina’s room and opens the box.

Ralphie, Carol and Dr. Rafkin are jumping a waving as if pleased to see Amanda.

Amanda- Oh please. I’ve had enough therapy to know not to fall for reverse psychology

She starts to close the toy-box lid but stops as she spots something.

Amanda- What’s this?

She picks up the ABC box.

Amanda- (Cont.) A new toy? It’s kinda small.

She sets the box on the floor.

Amanda- (Cont.) Bigger is always better.

She casts the make thing big spell and the ABC box grows till it’s almost as big as she is. Amanda cranks the handle and the box plays ‘Pop goes the weasel’ before the top springs open to reveal a full size Sabrina, no longer a doll.

Sabrina- Now it’s my turn to play.

Amanda- Oh yeah?

The two juvenile witches compete in a battle of magical wills but Sabrina has the edge of surprise and imprisons Amanda’s pointing fingers in a Chinese finger trap. Amanda struggles to free herself from the devilish devise.

Amanda- I’m going to have my mum stop payment on your cheque.

The Quizmaster appears as if by magic.

Sabrina- So, looks like I passed, huh?

Quizmaster- Yep! Once again you got yourself out of the mess you got yourself into.

Sabrina- I’ll take that as a well done.

Quizmaster- Now you're too big for stickers, right?

He pulls a gold sad face sticker from his chest and holds it out.

Sabrina- Yeah.

Quizmaster- Yes! More for me. Toodles.

He slaps the sticker back in place and vanishes.

Sabrina- (To the toys) Hey guys! Gather your accessories, you're going home.

Int. Amanda’s toy-box. There’s scenes of jubilation and hugging. until Carol goes to hug Ralphie

Ralphie- Yes, we’re all happy and nobody needs to touch me.

Int. Madam Epi Dermis’s salon. Madam Dermis is performing her Realm renowned facial technique involving peeling the face off and scrubbing it in a tin tub using a washboard.

Madam Dermis- Oh you badly needed a face peel. This face is so dirty.

She puts the freshly scrubbed face through the mangle.

Madam Dermis- (Cont.) Now we dry.

She walks across the room bringing her client into view lying back on a couch with a towel over her head and hangs the face up on a washing line with a clothes pin. There’s a knock at the door and Hilda enters.

Hilda- Hello, Madam Dermis?

Madam Dermis- What do you want from me?

Hilda- I would like to make an appointment for one of your Realm renowned baby butt facials.

Madam Dermis consults her appointment book.

Madam Dermis- Well let's see, Oh I can take you two thirty Tuesday, April second in the year two thousand, forty-seven.

Hilda- Great. Could you maybe call me the day before to remind me?

Madam Dermis- Yes.

Hilda starts to leave but turns back

Hilda- You know word around the pool is that you have an appointment available today.

Madam Dermis- It’s taken.

Hilda- I figured. I was just taking a walk and I happened to see your door so I thought I’d just...

Hilda spots something.

Hilda- (Cont.) Hey, I know those Daisy shoesey’s. ZELDA!

Hilda pulls off the towel covering the clients head to reveal a faceless face.

Zelda- I’m not Zelda.

Hilda- You’d better show your face.

She looks around and sees it hanging on the washing line.

Hilda- (Cont.)(To Zelda’s face) Ah! I knew it was you.

Zelda’s face- I’m so ashamed.

Hilda- You told me you were going to take a nap but all along you were going to steal the facial. You are so... two faced.

Zelda’s face- Me!

Zelda’s body gets up and stands beside Hilda gesturing

Zelda’s face- (Cont.) You're the one who took a little walk over her to steal the facial

Hilda looks from the face to the body

Hilda- Stop ganging up on me.

Zelda’s body- Then hand me my face.

Hilda- Gladly.

She takes Zelda’s face from the washing line.

Hilda- (Cont.) catch!

Hilda tosses the face across the room to land on the floor.

Hilda- (Cont.) Oops, I've ruined your facial. Gotta go.

Hilda leaves. Zelda’s body gropes around blindly looking for it’s face.

Zelda’s face- Over here. hotter. colder. colder!

Int. Spellman upstairs landing. Dr. Rafkin's been restored to full size wearing his dentist smock and stretching. Sabrina and a subdued Amanda look on.

Dr. Rafkin- Whoa! I’m free. Now I can go back to fighting Gingivitis.

He turns to leave through the closet door but stops for a peek into the toy-box.

Sabrina- Did you forget something?

Dr. Rafkin- No, I was just taking a minute to enjoy my... full size nostrils.

He continues to watch as Sabrina takes the Barbi doll out of the box and stands it on the floor.

Sabrina- Okay Amanda, do your stuff.

Amanda- They were stupid dolls anyway... and a lot of them bite.

Amanda does the finger thing and Carol is restored to full size complete with comb in her hair

Carol- Finally, I can stop standing on my tippy toes.

Sabrina- (To Amanda) What do you say?

Amanda- You’ll be back.

Sabrina holds up the Chinese finger trap.

Amanda- (Cont.) I mean, Sorry.

Dr. Rafkin- (To Carol) Now that we’re both out of the box I was wondering could we go out sometime?

Carol- Oh I’d love to... if I weren’t so sick of you.

Carol and Dr. Rafkin go into the closet. Sabrina takes a teddy bear from the toy-box and places it on the floor.

Sabrina- Okay Amanda, last one.

A flick of the junior witches finger and Ralphie is restored to his former glory looking remarkable like a teddy bear.

Amanda- There, Happy?

Amanda exits into Sabrina’s bedroom. Ralphie inspects himself and examines his shoulders.

Ralphie- So all that hair is really mine.

Carol- Come on Ralphie, lets get this linen closet on the road.

Ralphie- Boy, there’s a voice I’m not gonna miss. So long kiddo.

Sabrina- Ralphie. D’ya think I can give you that hug now?

Ralphie- Talk about a broken record. Well if it means that much to you.

Sabrina and Ralphie hug... well, barely

Ralphie- (Cont.) Okay, I’m done.

Sabrina- Hey, is that a tear in your eye?

Ralphie- No. I’m just remembering erm that I have to give up that Winter nap thing.

Ralphie leaves via the closet with the rest

Sabrina- (To Salem) Y’know, maybe I shouldn’t baby-sit any more.

Salem- You think?

Int. Spellman living room. Sabrina enters and flops down on the settee stiff legged.

Sabrina- Oh right, I can bend

Salem- Nights like these make me glad that I never had Kittens

Hilda and Zelda enter by the stairs.

Hilda- We’re home.

Sabrina- Did you guys have a good time?

Hilda- I have no sister.

Hilda leaves to the kitchen

Zelda- No one talk to me.

Sabrina- Aunt Zelda, there’s a piece of your cheek hanging off your face.

Zelda- That qualifies as talking.

Zelda leaves to the dining room holding her face on.

Sabrina- (Calling after) Well I’m glad you guys had a good time at the Spa. I’m fine. Amanda’s fine. Oh she’s upstairs asleep.

Int. Amanda’s toy-box. The picture of innocence is a sleeping nine year old.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Later. Zelda is typing on her lap-top. Hilda enters holding a sheaf of paper.

Hilda- Here are my hundred I’m Sorry’s

Zelda takes the sheet and hands Hilda a CD.

Run credits

Zelda- Oh, here are mine. You’ll notice sorry’s in bold. I still think we need to spend some time apart.

Hilda- I agree

Zelda- So, I’m going to the poconos.

Hilda- Oh that sounds like fun.

Zelda stares daggers at Hilda.

Hilda- Come on. It’s a big place. You won’t even know I’m there.

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Sabrina’s sat reading at her desk with Salem beside her. Amanda’s toy-box is on the floor.

Amanda- (OS) Sabrina, you’d better do as I say. I want water. I want water now!

Sabrina- Okay!

She picks up a glass of water, lifts the toy-box lid and throws the contents in.

Amanda- (Gurgling) Thank you.

Salem- I do love a happy ending.



Pic of the Week