Cloud Ten

Int. The City Desk office of the Boston Citizen. Sabrina comes down the stairs with a large box and sees Josh sat alone at the conference table. The table looks like a food and drink bomb has gone off. Josh is the only one still eating.

Sabrina- So, which was it; a staff meeting or a tailgate party?

She puts down the cleaning box and starts tidying the table.

Josh- Staff meeting, to discuss what’s happening with the sanitation workers. Looks like we’re gonna have a garbage strike.

Sabrina- And I may be leading it.

She piles empty wrappers and part eaten doughnuts onto a tray. In the process getting a large jelly stain on her top.

Josh- Hey, you knew when you became an intern that it also meant being a glorified maid.

Sabrina- Well fortunately there’s light at the end of the mustard splattered tunnel. I just wrote an article that could land me my own column.

Josh- Oh, I love it! Today, a crumb sweeper, tomorrow, a... crumb sweeper with a column. So what’s the story about?

Sabrina- How credit card companies prey on college students. First: they get solicitors on campus that seduce the kids with all kinds of free gifts.

Josh- Oh yeah, You mean like phone cards, T-shirts, candy!

Sabrina- Yeah. How do you know?

Josh- ... Go on.

Sabrina- Well then they rush them into signing an application before they even read the fine print.

Josh- (Under his breath) Stupid fine print! (Aloud) I mean, that-that sound like a great idea for a story.

Sabrina- Thanks, but it wasn’t totally my idea. Actually, Roxie suggested it. I’m going to take her to dinner... when I can look at food again.

Josh- It’s funny how you two ended up being best friends. Didn’t she hate you at first?

Sabrina- Oh, Roxie hates everybody at first. It’s her way of reaching out to people.

She hands Josh a plate full of half eaten snacks which he is about to dump in the trash can when Mike enters.

Mike- Ba-ba-ba-ba! That is a perfectly good half cruller.

He takes the half eaten cake from the plate

Sabrina- Hey Mike, did you get chance to read my article yet?

Mike- Oh yeah. I put aside the sanitation issue and the welfare of the entire city so I could really focus on what my intern wrote. Next time, less powdered, more glazed.

He goes into his office.

Josh- Y’see, now me, I prefer the powdered over the glazed.

Sabrina- (Fed up) Who cares. If Mike would just read my article then he would stop thinking of me as the doughnut girl and look at me with a new found respect. (Noticing the red stain on her top) And even more respect when I get rid of this jelly stain.

Josh leaves. Sabrina checks no one is looking and points at the stain. The jelly jumps from her blouse and into an uneaten doughnut. Sabrina picks it up.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Hm! What the heck.

She takes a bite.

Run opening credits.

Int. College house, Sabrina enters with a weary sigh just as Miles finishes off his microwave meal.

Miles- A hard day gathering hard news?

Sabrina- I wish. First; I had to pick up doughnut crumbs, then I had to scrape my ego off the floor. Mike chastised me for bugging him about my article.

Miles- Maybe this’ll take your mind off your problems.

He turns on the radio.

Roxie- (On radio) Hi, and welcome to Chick Chat! Today, a very special chick is going to be chatting to me. My roommate, Morgan Cavanaugh.

Sabrina- Has she gone mad? Why would Roxie have Morgan on the show?

Miles- I’m filing it under, bizarre, inexplicable phenomenon.

Roxie- (On radio) Morgan is my complete opposite...

Int. Campus radio station. Studio. Morgan sits making herself presentable for radio by touching up her lipstick while Roxie speaks into the microphone.

Roxie- ...Morally, spiritually and intellectually. Because we disagree on everything, I thought it would make for compelling radio.

Morgan- I disagree.

Roxie- Okay, here’s out first topic. How should student design their curriculum?

Morgan- Ideally, with a curriculum designer, but they don’t exist. Giorgio Armani hello! Untapped market.

Roxie- I believe we students should take classes we’re passionate about. Not just those that will get us closer to our degrees.

Morgan- Well that’s fine if you want to be the oldest living sociology major on welfare. I, however, am going after the classes that will get me a seven figure income and homes on three continents.

Roxie- You are the shallowest person I’ve ever met!

Int. College house. Sabrina and Miles continue to sit and listen... and comment.

Sabrina- She had to have her on the radio to discover that?

Morgan- (On radio) You are a pastille pseudo intellectual whose hair is begging for a hot oil treatment!

Roxie- (On radio) And your hair is begging for a brain to keep under it!

Sabrina- This is a train wreck waiting to happen.

Miles- Here’s the best part. Pretty soon, they’ll bringing it all back here.

Sabrina- Which is why I’m going to get something to eat.

She switches off the radio to silence Roxie and Morgan’s continuing bickering and heads for the door.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Wanna come?

Miles- And miss the possibility of women wrestling in my own home?

Sabrina- (Disgusted) I’m out o’ here... (Hands him a napkin) and while you’re drooling, try and protect the counter.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Zelda makes herself a cup of tea while Salem sits on the table reading the paper. Hilda enters with a handful of papers.

Hilda- Zellie, have you seen out finances lately? We’ve lost a ton in the stock market.

Zelda- Oh everybody has. But we’re lucky, we get to invest in the Other Realm market. I’m sure we’ve made plenty of money there.

Hilda- Let’s check.

She sits down at the table with Salem and points at it. A cast iron bathtub full of rich bubbles, not to mention Hilda and Salem both sporting a rather snazzy line in showercaps, appears from the large cloud of smoke generated by Hilda’s finger were the table used to live.

Hilda- (Cont.) We’re taking a bath... Salem, what are you doing in here?

Salem- I just like splashing around in the bubbles. Oops! Dropped the soap.

He dives under the bubbles but Zelda comes to her sisters rescue with a quick finger-flick. Everything is back as it was.

Hilda- Zellie, we’re in hot water! We need an investment that’s safe, smart and liquid... I’ve got it! Real-estate.

Zelda- I’ve always wanted a vacation home. Maybe a little beach house on Cape Cod?

Hilda- Forget it sister, we’re getting a mountain cabin. I don’t do sand crabs or Kennedy’s

Int. College house. Sabrina enters to find Miles stood with a bowl full of popcorn watching Roxie set about Morgan... with a nail polish brush. They are both on the settee and Roxie is painting Morgan’s toe nails amidst much merriment.

Sabrina- Okay, I had a horrible day and a really bad patty melt. I don’t wanna hear any fighting out of you two.

She finally notices that they’re not.

Morgan- Who’s fighting? We’re giving each other pedicures. How do I look in lilac fudge?

Miles- Very stylish but I still prefer you in cherry jubilee.

Sabrina- I don’t get it, on the radio you guys were ready to strangle each other?

Roxie- That’s before we racked up the highest ratings in the stations history!

She and Morgan high five.

Sabrina- That’s great! Oh, you’ll never believe what happened to me today...

Roxie- Oh, hold on, Sabrina. (To Morgan) Did I tell you that the station manager called Chick Chat was his flagship show? He said that he want’s to put it on the Internet so that anybody that missed it live could catch it later!

Miles- I’ll say it one last time. A wrestling component could bring in a whole other audience.

Sabrina- So anyway, I asked Mike to read my article and he just about ripped my head off!

Morgan- (Interrupting) Oh careful Roxie, You’re getting nail polish on my cuticles.

Roxie- Sorry. Hey, do you know anything that softens calluses?

Morgan- Yeah, me! As soon as you are done with my toes I will teach you the fine art of pumicing.

Miles- You know, my feet could use a little work. (On their look) ...At some point (Still looking) ...by a licensed professional.

Sabrina- (Feeling a little miffed) Speaking of professional, I might have to switch professions since Mike chewed me out about my article.

Roxie- Which article?

Sabrina- Oh, y’know, the one you gave me the idea for (On Roxie’s blank look) The one about credit cards?

Roxie- Yeah-yeah. Big companies ripping off students. (To Morgan) Hey! I’ve got a great idea for our next show.

Morgan- Outstanding! What is it?

Roxie- Let’s talk about God.

Morgan- Oh God is fabulous! Without him we wouldn’t have seasons and Joey Fatone!

As Roxie and Morgan giggle Sabrina’s left feeling cut off and outside the group. Depressed she goes to her bedroom.

Int. Sabrina’s bedroom. Sabrina enters and flops backwards onto her bed still wearing her coat.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Hilda and Zelda are actually taking off their coats as they tell Salem about their shopping trip.

Zelda- We looked at five houses and none of them were good enough for lady cheep-skate.

Hilda- They were all over priced!

Zelda- Oh please! The last seller we talked to came down fifty percent... that is until Hilda made her cry.

Hilda- It’s called negotiating!

Zelda- It’s called strong arming an eighty-five year old widow.

Hilda- Excuse me. A spry eighty-five year old widow.

Zelda- Hilda, I don’t wanna fight about this anymore. Why don’t you just pick out a house that you want and tell me where to sign.

Hilda- That is the first rational thing you’ve said all day. Tea?

Zelda- Please.

Hilda sets about making tea for them both and Zelda sits down to read the paper.

Zelda- (Cont.) <Sigh> Finally, some peace and quiet.

Sabrina enters.

Sabrina- My life is a complete disaster!

She plonks herself in the chair next to Zelda.

Zelda- (Under her breath) So much for quiet.

Sabrina- I poured my heart into an article that my boss wont even read, and now Roxie, who I thought was my best friend, is all buddy buddy with Morgan and clipping her toe nails.

Zelda- I’ve got a better one. My sister, who’s supposed to be my best friend, spent the entire day dismissing me while we were house hunting.

Hilda- I thought we had settled this?

Zelda- Obviously, I still have issues!

Hilda- I’ll say! Issue number one: You stink with money.

Sabrina watches as her problems are, once again, brushed aside by people she thought would care.

Zelda- I stink with money? Your middle name is Sucker!

Hilda- I can’t help that! I’m named after grandma Sucker.

Sabrina- Well, I-I’m going to jump off a speeding bus. Thanks for your warm words of consolation.

Zelda- (Distracted) Our pleasure.

Hilda- (Distracted) Bye honey.

Sabrina looks up to the heavens and sighs as she leaves.

Hilda- (Cont.) Actually, if you remember, grandma’s full name was Sucker hyphen Baffoon.

Int. The City Desk office of the Boston Citizen. Sabrina enters and goes straight to her desk. Josh spots her and comes over.

Josh- Oh, perfect timing.

Sabrina- Oh, let me guess. The cappuccino maker exploded and they need me to wipe the crud off the ceiling?

Josh- Yeah, but there’s something else. There’s a lull in the garbage talks and Mike’s here. Maybe now’s a better time to talk to him about your article?

Sabrina- No way. The last thing Mike wants to do right now is talk to me.

Mike- Hey Spellman, can I talk to you. I want to do an article on Adams College.

Sabrina- (Surprised and pleased) That’s great! Well I’m so please that you read my...

Mike- (Interrupting) Have you heard these girls on Chick Chat?

Sabrina- Well yeah, I guess somewhere along the way, I’ve caught the show.

Mike- Is it as phenomenal as everyone says?

Sabrina- I suppose, y’know, if "Phenomenal" is your thing.

Mike- Yeah, it is.

He turns to another reporter.

Mike- (Cont.) Bruce, I need fifteen hundred words on those Chick Chat chicks.

Josh- (Overhearing) Hey Mike, I know them. Do you want me to take some photos?

Mike- That’s what I pay you for.

Sabrina- (Under her breath) Oh! This just gets better and better!

Int. College house. Sabrina’s bedroom. Salem sits on her desk watching her as she works on her laptop. He sees that she logged on to OROL (Other Realm On Line) and reads the name of the web page she’s on.

Salem- The Other Realm people finder?

Sabrina- Yeah, I’m trying to get in touch with my past. Maybe it’ll help me forget my present.

Salem- I can relate... No I can’t. What’s wrong with your present?

Sabrina- Well let’s see. (Counting on her fingers) My writing career is over before it’s started, My best friend has a new best friend and they have a hit radio show that was a flop when I was on it. Basically, I’m a failure in all mediums.

Salem- It’s Media.

Sabrina- And now my cat is correcting my grammar. I think that is know as rock bottom.

Salem glances at the screen on the laptop as it flashes up a picture of a red headed girl of approximately Sabrina’s age.

Salem- Who’s Cathy Winters?

Sabrina- Somebody who was always there for me. She was my best friend until I was sixteen. In fact we both found out we were witches at the same time. Then she moved to the Other Realm.

Sabrina hits enter and the picture comes to life/

Sabrina- (Cont.) Hey Cathy, it’s me, Sabrina.

Cathy- Oh my gosh! Sabrina ballerina.

Sabrina- China Cathy.

Cathy- This is so weird. I was just thinking about you and Beth Connelly’s slumber party!

Sabrina- That time you put my bra in the freezer? Talk about colder than a witches... Never mind.

Cathy- So what’s up, Sabrina?

Sabrina- I just missed you and wanted to see how you were doing.

Cathy- I’m great. I’m working as a travel agent in the Other Realm. Hey, why don’t you pop over for a visit. Unless you’ve got more important things going on in your life?

Sabrina- I’ll be right there.

And she means it. A quick point, a little molecular transference and she’s...

Int. Cathy’s office at the Other Realm Travel Agents.

...There.

Cathy- Sabrina, it is so great to see you.

Sabrina- You too.

They hug. Sabrina looks around Cathy’s office.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Wow, what a place. You must be doing really well, huh?

Cathy- I’m very lucky, I have a very loyal clientele. After their first trip with me, they always seem to come back for more.

Sabrina- So what’s your speciality? Time travel? Outer galaxy tours? River rafting on Jupiter?

Cathy- Actually, my speciality is relaxation get-aways for people who are really stressed out by everyday life.

Sabrina- Boy, did I come to the right place.

A man in a smart business suit materialises out of thin air and smiles at Cathy.

Seth- Hey Cathy, I had the worst day at the office today. My new boss is a complete gargoyle... er literally. Any chance you can book me a get-away right now?

Cathy- Absolutely.

He hands over the money.

Cathy- (Cont.) Seth, say hello to my old friend, Sabrina.

Sabrina- Nice to meet you. Y’know, that bad day stuff must be contagious. I had one too.

Seth- Then you should come up with me to Cloud Ten. It’s such a trip.

Sabrina- (To Cathy) Cloud Ten? I thought they only went up to nine?

Cathy- This is a new state-of-the-art cloud. thirty percent fluffier than nine and a silver lining that’ll knock your socks off.

She hands Seth a clear plastic zip-lock bag full of cloud and waves another temptingly at Sabrina.

Sabrina- Oh, I don’t know about this.

Cathy- Come on, whaddya have to lose? Except you’re problems.

Sabrina- (Taking the bag) Hm what the heck! I am on vacation.

All three of them open a bag apiece and are instantly transported.

Ext. Cloud Ten, The Other Realm. Music plays in the background as crowds of young witches chill out and relax. All doing their own things. Seth, Cathy and Sabrina arrive... suddenly.

Cathy- Here we are.

Sabrina- Wow, this is incredible. (Looking around) Everyone seems so... mellow.

Seth- The longer you’re up here, the mellower you get.

With a smile he leaves to do whatever it is does to relax. Another you witch comes over to join Sabrina and Cathy.

Andy- Hey Cathy. Thanks for another great trip. Bob, back there, he likes it so much he wants to extend his stay.

Cathy- I’ll get him squared away. Andy, this is Sabrina. She’s a first timer.

Cathy leaves to deal with business.

Andy- (To Sabrina) So what kind of worries brought you here?

Sabrina- Oh you know. Thankless job, friends who don’t seem to care, life going right down the toilet.

Andy- Hm. Well close your eyes, take a deep breath and I guarantee you, all your problems will disappear.

Sabrina takes this total strangers advice. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, holds it before slowly letting it out. When she finally opens her eyes, she’s imbued with mellowvision.

Sabrina- Wow! It’s like my problems never even existed. I can’t believe I’ve been walking around like a wreck in the mortal realm when instead...

Andy- You could have been on Cloud Ten.

Sabrina smiles in a way that makes you wonder just what Cloud Ten is made of and is it entirely legal? Later, Sabrina is lay on a particularly fluffy piece of Cloud Ten beside Andy.

Sabrina- Wow, this is incredible. I feel like I’m floating on air... and not just because I’m on a cloud.

Andy- What’s so great about this place is it frees your mind to think about the really important things in life. For instance, I’ve got four freckles on the back of my hand... Why?

Sabrina- Wow! That is deep. And why’s it called peanut butter if there’s no butter in it?

Andy- I don’t know. And why are they called peanuts?

Sabrina- I don’t know!

Andy- We should think about this for a couple of hours.

Sabrina- Okay.

They both lay their heads back on the cloud and stare into space. A couple of seconds later, Sabrina raises her head.

Sabrina- (Cont.) What are we thinking about again?

Cathy arrives and breaks her train of thought by pulling her to her feet and dragging her onto the dance floor..

Cathy- So Sabrina, are you enjoying yourself?

Sabrina- I am... what I am and that’s all I am. Hey! D’you know what would taste so good right now? A big old yam.

At that precise moment a girl dances past with a yam. Sabrina grabs it.

Sabrina- <Gasp!> Thanks! I love this place.

Andy- (Dancing) I think she’s hooked on Cloud Ten.

Seth- (Dancing) It’s hard not to be.

He looks down over the edge of the cloud.

Seth- (Cont.) Look at all those poor idiots down there who’re still worrying about their jobs, their relationships and their needlessly complicated lives.

Claire- (Dancing) Like that guy. He’s worried about getting an ‘A’ on his mid-term.

Seth- He’ll get an ‘A’ on his mid-term and worry about getting an ‘A’ on his final.

Andy- Only it’s not final because it doesn’t end there.

Sabrina- (Dancing) Yeah, then he’ll worry about getting his degree, getting a job, getting married, getting old. Realities a drag!

Cathy- (Dancing) Even thinking about it’s a drag!

Sabrina- Then why are we? Let’s dance! Whoo-hoo!

Int. Spellman living room. Zelda sits on the settee marking papers as Hilda comes in all excited.

Hilda- Zellie! The search is over. I’ve found us the perfect house.

Zelda- I hope no octogenarians were harmed in the process?

Hilda- She’ll bounce back! (On Zelda’s look) Anyway, the house is gorgeous and roomy. Salem even gets his view of the Kennedy’s.

A small, furry, black heads pops up out of Hilda’s handbag. It’s lips are very red.

Salem- If you call Ted in a speedo a view.

Hilda- What did you do? Try on my lipstick?

Salem- Yeah, and I ate a tube of mascara. Sue me.

She shoves the small, furry, black head with red lips back down into the bag.

Salem- (Cont.) Aw!

Hilda- Anyway, Zelda. The house is a great English Tudor. It has five bedrooms, four baths and hardwood floors in every room.

Zelda- It sounds perfect.

Hilda- Plus, it’s close to the airport.

Salem- Close to the airport? It’s on the runway!

Hilda- Salem!

Zelda- Hilda!

Hilda- (Fed up) Okay, I’ll keep looking.

Int. The City Desk office of the Boston Citizen. Mike enters.

Mike- Great news! There’s been some major progress in the garbage negotiations. Both sides have finally agreed on where to have the next meeting.

He spots a packet of potato chips on Josh’s desk and with a smile helps himself.

Josh- Hey, speaking of garbage, Sabrina wrote this piece that I... I mean it’s a really great piece...

Mike- (Interrupting) Save your breath, I’ve read it. It is great, and as soon as she makes some changes, it’s going right in the paper.

Josh- (Delighted) That’s fantastic! Can I call and tell her?

Mike- No. No, it’s a big secret. (On Josh’s look) Get her on the horn! I need those changes done.

Josh grab’s the phone and starts dialling. Mike grabs Josh’s apple to go with Josh’s potato chips and walks off to his office.

Int. The campus radio station studio. The engineer laughs behind the glass as Roxie buries her head in her hands.

Morgan- (On air) Well to tone biceps, I always do dumbbell curls. Now for triceps, nothing beats two or three sets of seated push-ups.

Caller #1- What exactly does that have to do with the unemployment rate?

Roxie- I think I can explain. Morgan, the caller wanted to talk about the lack of work, not the lack of working out.

Morgan- I know that! I just thought listeners would be more interested in how I firm my upper body.

Roxie- Okay. Let’s go to the next caller.

She hits the button on the console.

Roxie- (Cont.) You’re on with Chick Chat!

Caller #2- Roxie, it’s Josh. Do you know where Sabrina is? She’s not answering her cell phone.

Roxie- You’re calling a radio station to find out where your girlfriend is?

Morgan- What’s wrong with that? I make my boyfriend check in every half hour.

Roxie- That is so dominating and controlling.

Morgan- You say that like it’s a bad thing?

Roxie- Because it is.

Caller #2- Hello! Still looking for Sabrina.

Ext. Cloud Ten, The Other Realm. We’ve found a very chilled out and relaxed Sabrina with her new friends on the dance floor. She spins and twirls to the music to the point of loosing her balance. Andy catches her in time.

Andy- Whoa! Careful. Man, you are wild.

Sabrina- Yeah. Well this place really lets me let loose.

Cathy- You know, I’m glad you enjoyed the trip but it’s time for you to go back.

Sabrina- What do you mean?! I don’t want it to be over. Can’t I stay just a little longer?

Cathy- You can stay as long as you want.

Sabrina- Whoo-hoo!

Cathy- But this time, I’m going to have to charge you.

Sabrina- Oh. Er, fine, I understand. I mean, after all, this is your business.

She reaches for her pocket.

Seth- (Calling out) Hey! Anybody know how to do the Tush-push?

Sabrina- I do! Come on everybody. All right! shift your weight forward over your right hip twice, Shift your weight back over your left hip twice. Go right forward, go left back. Go right forward, go left back. Go right forward, Go left...!

She gets a little carried away and once again it’s Andy who comes to her rescue.

Andy- Oh! Oh, careful!

They both look over the gold lined edge of the cloud that Sabrina almost fell over.

Andy- (Cont.) It’s a long way down.

The party goes on.

Int. A dilapidated old house that looks more like a bomb site, The Other Realm. An estate agent shows Hilda around.

Agent- ...Plus, you have the security of living in a gated community.

Hilda- Gated community? That’s what you’re calling a drunken guard stooped over a chain link fence?

Agent- On the plus side, he never leaves his post.

Something small and furry with a long bald tail runs over Hilda’s foot. She jumps a clutches the estate agent tightly.

Agent- (Cont.) Oh! You like animals, don’t you?

Hilda- That was a rat! You know, I thought I’d get way more for my money in the Other Realm

Agent- Well, vermin aside, you’re looking at a house that is rock solid.

The roof falls in but at least it has broken the fall of a very relaxed and chilled out little blonde witch who sits sprawled on the floor amongst the debris. Andy was right. It was a long way down.

Agent- (Cont.) Did I mention that we’re Cloud Ten adjacent? Occasionally you get some riffraff falling from the sky.

The riffraff in question stands up and brushes herself off.

Hilda- Oh my God! That riffraff is my niece! Sabrina?

Agent- (Slinking off) Okay, you’ve got my pager number. Let me know if you want to make an offer.

He leaves.

Hilda- Honey, are you okay?

Sabrina- Yeah. Y’know, luckily this er crappy house broke my fall.

Hilda- What were you doing on Cloud Ten?

Sabrina- Er, would you believe, the tush-push?

Hilda- Sabrina, this is so unlike you. What’s going on?

Sabrina- Oh, I just got really depressed because everything in my life was going wrong and nobody seemed to care. Y’know, everyone was caught up in their own stuff. I just felt invisible.

Hilda- Like you were the odd man out?

Sabrina- Exactly. You have no idea how awful it feels.

Hilda- Actually honey, I do. You are looking at the original odd man out... Well, odd woman out... but I dated the odd man out.

Sabrina- Aunt Hilda, your point?

Hilda- The point is, I never fit in anywhere. Your aunt Zelda was the brainiac with the gracefulness of a gazelle. I was the one with the funny voice and two left feet. Good for walking in circles, not so good for buying shoes.

Sabrina- It must have been terrible.

Hilda- It was! I did whatever I could to make myself feel better. I even went to Cloud Seven, that was the hip cloud back then. Mozart groupies, mutton on a stick. (Dreamily) Rock me Amadeus.

Sabrina- So how did you tear yourself away from all that great music and... meat and... deal with reality?

Hilda- I realised that I was looking for validation and that it doesn’t come from the outside. You’ve gotta reach inside yourself.

Sabrina- You mean I’ve gotta think about my problems, analyse them and come up with answers?

Hilda- No. I mean actually reach inside yourself. Here, I’ll do it for you.

She punches Sabrina in the chest. Only, instead of knocking her backwards, Hilda’s arm sinks in up to the elbow and when she gives a tug, out pops Sabrina. This one hasn’t let her hair down, it’s pulled back in a pony tail and she’s wearing a rather conservative looking business suit. She holds a rubber stamp in her hands.

Hilda- (Cont.) Talk to her. She’s the only one who can set you straight. Me? I’ve got to go check out a condo in purgatory. It’s got a view of heaven and they say the neighbourhood is really coming up. Bye honey.

She leaves and the Sabrinas look to each other. Even for witches, the saying that talking to yourself is the first sign of madness may still hold true, but Sabrina decides to give it a go anyway.

Sabrina- So, here we are. What do you think about all this?

Sabrina- I think what you think. I’m you, the person we’re here to talk about. What’s up?

Sabrina- I want you to validate me for who I am.

Sabrina- Why should I do that?

Sabrina- Well um... I’m nice?

Sabrina- It doesn’t sound like you’re sure. Are you or aren’t you?

Sabrina- I am.

Sabrina- In what ways?

Sabrina- Well I’m trustworthy, loyal...

Sabrina- (Interrupting) So far, you’re a dog. Keep talking.

Sabrina- Well, I’m considerate. smart, generous, funny, loving, creative. Don’t you think?

Sabrina- It doesn’t matter what I think. If you want this stamp, then you’d better not have any doubts. This is self-validation, remember.

Sabrina- Look, here’s the bottom line. I, Sabrina Spellman, am a good person, okay. I may not be a published columnist or a hit on the radio but I am a worthy human being and I don’t need anyone else to tell me that. Now give me that stamp!

She takes the stamp from Sabrina and presses it to her own forehead, leaving behind the word ‘VALID’ in thick black ink letters.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Aw!

Without another word, Sabrina steps into herself, but the ‘VALID’ on her forehead still leaves a question-mark over her sanity because she continues to talk to herself.

Sabrina- (To herself) What was I thinking? Why did I even go to Cloud Ten? It’s not like it changed anything and I’ve got a great life right here.

She looks around at the dilapidated old house.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Well... maybe not right here.

The house becomes even more like a bomb site as another Cloud Tener comes crashing through the roof.

Andy- Oh! You think they’d put guard rails on that cloud. (Holding out his hand) So, are you ready to go back up?

Sabrina- No. I am through with Cloud Ten.

Int. College house. Roxie is sat at the table doing her college work when Sabrina enters.

Roxie- Sabrina! Where’ve ya been?

Sabrina- Oh y’know. just doin’ my thing, floatin’ around.

Roxie- I’m glad you’re back. I missed you.

Sabrina- (Surprised) You did?! I-I didn’t think you cared now that you and Morgan are such good friends.

Roxie- Hold the phone! Who’s spreading the rumour that Morgan and I are friends?

Sabrina- Nobody. It’s just that you guys were laughing and bonding and buffing.

Roxie- Sabrina, I’d wax a baboon if it made my radio show more interesting.

Sabrina- I really thought she was replacing me as your best friend.

Roxie- Please! Did you fall on your head or something?

Sabrina- Well, now that you mention it.

Roxie- Sabrina, I get a best friend, like, once every fifteen years. I didn’t dump my Malibu Barbie and I have no intention of dumping you.

Sabrina- (Grinning) Thanks... You still have your Malibu Barbie?

Roxie- It’s our secret... but we don’t have time to talk about that. You have forty-nine messages on the machine.

She goes to the phone and presses the play button.

Phone- Sabrina, it’s Josh. Great news, Mike wants to run your article!

Sabrina- (To Roxie) Oh my God! He’s got to be kidding!

Phone- I’m not kidding! Call me.

Roxie- (Turning off the phone) The other forty-seven are pretty much the same thing. Congratulations.

Sabrina- Thanks!

The have a big, best friend hug.

Sabrina- (Cont.) I’m heading over to Josh’s.

She dashes to the door.

Roxie- Oh wait! Before you go, You might want to wash the stamp off your forehead.

Ext. The other realm. Hilda has finally found the perfect property investment for them and guides Zelda blindfolded to view it.

Hilda- (Excited) Here it is!

She removes the blindfold.

Hilda- (Cont.) Our new property.

Zelda gazes around in wonder. Taking in the wide open spaces and rolling hills completely hidden by the stacks of old rusting forty-five gallon drums, most of which are leaking foul smelling, putrid liquids.

Zelda- This is a toxic waste dump!

Hilda- Now, but in four hundred years we’ll put up a casino. We’ll be rolling in it!

Zelda- Hilda, our shoes are melting! Run!

They both run for it.

Hilda- (OS) Did I mention, we got a really good deal?