Int. College house. The whole crowd are there. Sabrina, Roxie, Miles, Morgan, Harvey and Josh who’s busily and excitedly setting up the leather-topped card table over the dining table, he polishes it vigorously.

Josh- Okay, here’s how it’s gonna go. Seven card stud, two cards down, four cards up, last cards a bind, no check and raise.

Miles- I’m about to be shaken down. Visions of grade school.

Sabrina- Well at least he hasn’t put a visor on yet.

Josh puts on a green plastic visor.

Roxie- The good news is I’m already poor, so I’ve got nothin’ to lose.

Josh- Everybody relax. It’s just a friendly game. We’re all here to have fun.

The others all come over with snacks and drinks.

Morgan- Oh I heard the greatest joke the other day...

Josh- (Interrupting) No jokes! We’re playing cards!

Morgan- Josh, I’ve never seen you so aggressive and domineering! Why weren’t you this way when I was dating you?

Harvey- Will you shut up?

Morgan- Oh! And now you grow a spine?!

Roxie- Let’s just play. Where are the cards?

Josh- (Looking around) Er... Cards?

Morgan- Ah, there’s the Josh I know and dumped.

Sabrina- Don’t worry Mr. Vagas, I’ve got some cards in my room.

Int. Sabrina and Roxie’s room. Sabrina is riffling through her bedside drawer looking for a pack of cards. Salem is sat on the windowsill.

Salem- If you’re looking for cards, I’ve got Josh’s deck right here.

Sabrina- You stole Josh’s cards?

Salem- Stole, borrowed, who’s keeping score? The point is, I wanna make you a proposition.

Sabrina- (Taking the cards) No!

Salem- Here’s the plan. During the game I’ll look over everyone’s shoulder and signal how you should bet. We’ll split the winnings seventy: thirty!

Sabrina- I can’t cheat my friends!

She turns and heads for the door.

Salem- (Calling after) But I can! That’s the beauty of this plan!

Int. College house. The game is underway and Salem has taken up a position on the windowsill behind Josh.

Josh- Roxie, I will see your bet and raise you five!

He throws in the requisite chips.

Harvey- (Throwing in his cards) Too rich for my blood.

Morgan- Fold!

Miles- Fold!

Sabrina- (To Josh) I should fold, unless you’re bluffing?

Salem nods his head frantically.

Roxie- Sabrina, I think your cats having a convulsion!

Sabrina- I think he just needs some fresh air.

She waves him away and in the process buts a sparkle up his butt that sends him jumping into a nearby bush with a stifled yelp.

Ext. A nearby bush. Salem has landed in a birds nest and the birds aren’t too happy. One is perched on his head giving it a peck.

Salem- Any-any of you chicks up for five card stud?

Run opening credits.

Int. Hilda’s Coffee House. Morgan is on shift and Sabrina has just arrived to relieve her while Hilda handles the counter. A man moves up in the line and Sabrina witnesses the following.

Hilda- Next!

She ignores the man as a second man moves up beside him

Hilda- (Cont.) Next!

A third man moves up to the counter beside the first two.

Hilda- (Cont.) Next!

A woman moves forward.

Hilda- (Cont.) Yes Ma’am, what can I get for you?

Male Customer #1- Excuse me, we were here first!

Hilda- Oh, and just because men were here first d’ya think women are supposed to wait on you hand and foot? Well think again Mr. Hairy-back. Go!

She send the man off with a flea in his ear.

Hilda- (Cont.)(To woman) Decaf?

The woman nods yes.

Sabrina- (To Morgan) What’s with Hilda?

Morgan- President Banning broke up with her. Now she says she’s through with men.

A man follows the woman up to the counter.

Hilda- Next!

Sabrina- Aunt Hilda, I’m really sorry about you and president Banning but, y’know, that’s no reason to take it out on all men. There’s a better way to deal with your feelings.

Hilda- I know, I know, talk through it, feel the pain... I’d rather cause the pain!

Sabrina- Or we could go shopping?

Hilda- Oh, I like your way.

Int. Potions, Lotions and Notions. The Other Realm. Hilda dashes around with a shopping basket.

Hilda- Ooo, ‘Essence of Hemlock’

She drops the small bottle into her basket.

Hilda- (Cont.) A dragon skin pen? Disgusting... but I’ve got to have one.

One goes into the basket and she’s off passing Sabrina and Zelda, who are both looking a little tired.

Zelda- (To Sabrina) You know, you were right about curing Hilda’s break-up blues. Shopping is just what the doctor ordered.

Sabrina- Yeah, but he didn’t order six hours of it! My feet a swelling up like two bloated trolls.

Hilda- Oh that reminds me, I need to pick up some trolls. Let’s swing by Sax of the century.

Zelda- Ah Hilda, you know what, you go ahead. Sabrina and I are pretty much wiped out.

Sabrina- Yeah, we’ll go back to the house if that’s okay with you?

Hilda- That’s great with me! You two lollygaggers have been slowing me down.

She’s distracted by a small black ball on a string with three bits of wavy wire sticking out, all in the same direction. She picks it up.

Hilda- (Cont.) Oh-my-God, I’ve been looking for one of these everywhere! (To the assistant) Excuse me sir, what is this?

Ext. College house front porch. Harvey’s slipped out for some fresh air when he hears something. He looks strangely at a shrub by the wall.

Shrub- Psst! Harvey. Harvey!

Harvey- (To the shrub) Did you say something?

Salem- Plants can’t talk, you idiot!

Harvey looks around the other side of the shrub and finds Salem sat on the wall.

Harvey- Oh but cats can! I’m such a fool. I’ve got a poker game to get to.

Salem- I know. Wanna go home a winner?

Harvey- I’d love to! How?

Salem- Think about it. You’re a guy who stinks at poker: I’m a cat with no scruples.

Harvey- Huh?

Salem- Oh! This could take forever. Here’s the deal. During the game I’ll sit behind Josh and let you know what he’s got. You’ll go home a winner and we’ll split the take eighty: twenty.

Harvey- Salem, that’s cheating.

He turns and enters the house.

Salem- Ough! Another one. What is wrong with this generation?

Int. College house. They are all there apart from Sabrina and the game is in full swing and Josh is raking in the chips. Salem lies on the windowsill behind Josh’s shoulder quietly humming to himself.

Miles- I swear Sabrina’s cat is humming ‘If I were a rich man’

Josh- I’m singing a pretty happy tune myself thanks to Kinkle here. Harvey, don’t take this personal but you are the worst poker player I have ever seen.

Harvey- (Sarcastically) Gee, how can I take that personally? Don’t get too attached to those chips, I think my lucks about to change.

He raises his eyebrows to Salem.

Miles- Now the cats humming ‘We’re in the money’!

Int. Spellman living room. Sabrina and Zelda are both sat soaking their poor aching feet in foot spas. They turn them off and start to dry them.

Sabrina- Well, after three hours of soaking, my feet are, finally, back to their original size. Tell aunt Hilda I waited but I got a paper to write.

Zelda- Oh honey, I’m sure she’ll be so excited about all the things she’s bought, she’ll forget we even went shopping with her.

A large puff of smoke heralds the arrival of Hilda. When it clears it reveals a beaming Hilda, a pile of shopping bags and a large cardboard box that’s taller than she is.

Hilda- That was so much fun!

Sabrina- What’s in the box?

Zelda- What on earth is that?

Hilda- Guess.

Sabrina- Er... A refrigerator?

Hilda- No.

Zelda- A freezer?

Hilda- No.

Sabrina- A washer, drier combo?

Hilda- No, that’s coming Tuesday.

Zelda- What is it?

Hilda flicks open the box and out steps a man. Tall, good looking with a friendly smile and a certain familiarity.

Hilda- A fiancé!

They growl at each other and kiss passionately while Sabrina and Zelda stand wide eyed and open mouthed.

Sabrina- Hey, I know you! You’re the conductor from the Halloween mystery train!

Will- Right! And Hilda’s just signed up for the ride of her life.

He kisses her again.

Hilda- From what I understand, it’s non-stop!

Will- Excuse us please.

He guides Hilda back into the cardboard box with him while Sabrina and Zelda continue to do the open mouth thing.

Int. College house. The poker game continues.

Josh- Harvey, do you call my bet or what?

Roxie- (To Harvey) What are you waiting for? Just give the man your wallet and be done with it, already!

Harvey- He could be bluffing, but I guess, to be on the safe side, I should fold.

There’s just the slightest shake of Salem’s head behind Josh’s shoulder.

Harvey- (Cont.) But I wont. Call!

He throws in his chips.

Josh- Ha-ha! Unfortunately for you, I wasn’t bluffing. (Laying down his cards) Full house, kings high.

He reaches to rake in the chips.

Harvey- Ha, not so fast. (Laying down his cards) Full house, aces high!

Harvey rakes in the chips delightedly.

Miles- Okay, now the cats singing and dancing!

They all look around but by then Salem has stopped.

Morgan- Miles. You’ve got to get off the decongestants.

Int. Spellman living room. Hilda and Will sit on the settee hand in hand while Zelda and Sabrina bring in some refreshments.

Hilda- Anyway, so after I found the great deal on ointment for piranha bites, I popped into Just Cauldrons. I’m standing there, looking at the new tailgate models, when all of a sudden I look over to the food court and I become paralysed.

Zelda- You saw Will.

Hilda- No! I saw that they’d jacked up the price of corndogs to seven dollars! Is that not outrageous?

Sabrina- A crime, but what does that have to do with you running into Will?

Will- Patience! It’s a fabulous story.

With a growl he kisses Hilda. Sabrina looks across at Zelda with a disgusted expression.

Hilda- So anyway, I’m standing there with my jaw on the floor and who do you think bumps into me?

Zelda- Will.

Hilda- No! This sales lady showing Will the exact same cauldron I had just been looking at.

Sabrina- And that’s when you knew you’d found Mr. Right?

Hilda- No! That’s when Will looked out to the food court and said ‘Seven dollars for a corndog? That’s outrageous!’ That’s when I knew.

Zelda- Of course.

Hilda- Oh, before I forget. The weddings this weekend.

Zelda- (Surprised) What?!

Sabrina- (Shocked) This weekend?!

Will- Oh yes, Saturday afternoon. Kinda Dressy-casual.

Sabrina- Er, Will, would you excuse us for a moment?

The both grab Hilda and bustle her into the dinning room.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Zelda and Sabrina drag Hilda in from the dinning room.

Hilda- Let me guess. You’re clawing at my skin because you’re afraid I’m going to make you wear ugly bridesmaids dresses? Well not to worry, they’re maroon and yellow.

Sabrina- (To Zelda) Maroon and yellow? Aunt Hilda, look, you’ve just broke up with President Banning! Don’t you think you might be acting impulsively because you’re on the rebound?

Hilda- Sabrina, I’ve been looking for my true love for over six hundred year and if I find him on the rebound, on a train or in an outlet mall, I’m going for it.

Zelda- Honey, it’s true that he’s a nice man, he’s attractive, he has a job; always a plus but don’t you think you should get to know each other before you jump into marriage?

Hilda- I’m telling you, I know true love when I see it at the mall and this is it! Now all I want from you two are your blessings and your dress sizes. Now if you’ll excuse me, Will and I have to go and pick out our rings.

She heads back to the living room and her true love.

Sabrina- Great idea I had, taking her shopping. Aunt Zelda, what are we gonna do?

Zelda- We are going to make peace with maroon and yellow I suppose. Oh I shudder to think what the shoes are gonna look like.

Sabrina- We can’t let her get married to a guy she bonded with over cauldrons and corndogs!

Zelda- Well I don’t think we have a choice. Your aunt Hilda’s a very headstrong woman. You know the oddest part? Is that on that mystery train I could have sworn that Will fancied me.

Sabrina- That’s it! You just gave me an idea. When they get back from the jewellery store, I’ll distract aunt Hilda while you throw yourself at Will. He succumbs to your charms, she sees him in a compromising position and comes to her senses!

Zelda- (Shocked) Sabrina! Forgive me if I’m not entirely comfortable seducing my sisters fiancé! I mean, it’s one thing to steal a prom date.

Sabrina- It’s for her own good! The only way that we can save aunt Hilda is with your overwhelming beauty.

Zelda- Well... she is my sister.

They chink glasses conspiratorially.

Int. Spellman living room, later. Hilda and Will are back.

Hilda- (Calling out) Zellie! Sabrina! We’re back! Don’t you wanna see out wedding rings?

Sabrina comes dashing down the stairs.

Sabrina- Do I ever!

She admires them with a little frown.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Mood rings?

Hilda- aren’t they gorgeous?

Sabrina- Well who can see in this light? Come into the kitchen and let me really check them out.

She is pushed towards the kitchen.

Hilda- (To Will) I’ll be right back and if you’re lucky, my mood will be green.

She and Sabrina exit into the kitchen. Just before Sabrina goes out of site, she snaps her fingers and the lights in the living room dim and slow, seductive music starts to play. Will looks around surprised and sees a vision in red slinking down the stairs. The dress that Zelda’s wearing is skin tight and slinky and she slides a little way down the banister displaying an expanse of thigh and making Will catch her at the bottom.

Zelda- Hello again Will. As in, where there’s a Will there’s a way.

Her hands are all over him and she pushes him back against the wall.

Zelda- (Cont.) As in, Will he or wont he?

He bumps into the wall and ducks away as Zelda laughs huskily and continues to track him with her womanly wiles.

Zelda- (Cont.) Or my personal favourite. A man Will be a man.

Will- Don’t forget, last Will and testament.

He’s backed up against the settee and Zelda gives him a little push. He falls prone onto it as she comes round.

Will- (Cont.) Wow! That’s a very... interesting dress.

Zelda- (Chewing at her nail coyly) I’m glad you like it. What else do you like Will?

She hovers above him like a red vulture.

Will- I like Hilda... and corndogs.

Zelda- Really? I thought you liked me best.

Will- N…!

She leans down and traps his lips in a kiss. He struggles in vain to escape until she finally comes up for air.

Zelda- (Cont.)(Calling out) I said, I thought you liked me best!

She grabs his lapels and pulls him over on top of her as Hilda and Sabrina come rushing in through the dinning room.

Sabrina- Jiminy Cricket! Would you look at that?

Hilda- What is going on here?!

Will finally manages to break loose of Zelda’s grip and stand up.

Will- This is not how it looks! Your sister just threw herself at me.

Hilda- Don’t lie to me! Your mood ring is green.

Will- I am not lying! I was set up here! It’s you I love, not this tramp.

Hilda- Oh, so now my sisters a tramp? (To Zelda) Well you do look a little trampy in that dress.

Will- She was determined to have her way with me. I tried to push her aside, she was relentless in her pursuit. Hilda, the only one for me is you. You have to believe me.

Hilda- No I don’t, you betrayed me.

She pulls off her ring and sticks it into his hand.

Hilda- (Cont.) I’m going to zap you back to the outlet mall you crawled out of!

She points and with a large puff of smoke Will is gone.

Sabrina- Aunt Hilda, I’m so sorry, but I guess this just goes to prove he wasn’t your true love after all.

Hilda- My true love? I hardly knew the guy, he meant nothing to me... and now, I’ll never see him again.

She folds her arms and starts to cry. As soon as the tears touch her cheeks her skin begins to turn as white as plaster. The effect spreads all over her body. Her clothes everything and she stiffens up like a solid stone statue. Sabrina and Zelda can only watch on in horrified amazement as without any warning the Hilda statue shatters into hundreds of small pieces all over the living room floor.

Sabrina- OhmyGod! Aunt Hilda broke!

Zelda- I don’t believe it! The only time a witch falls to pieces is when she’s separated from her soul mate. Oh-oh we were wrong, Sabrina. They really were in love.

Sabrina- And we got the bright idea to break them up.

Zelda- <Sob!> Actually sweetheart... that was you. <Sob!>

They kneel down and start picking up pieces of Hilda.

Int. Spellman living room. Later. Sabrina and Zelda have been hard at work for some time with a tube of glue. Most of the Hilda statue is back in one piece, the only trouble is none of the pieces look like they’re in the right place. Zelda crawls around on her hands and knees looking for any missing bits.

Sabrina- I feel horrible! I’ve gotta get aunt Hilda back together.

Zelda- Hey, I’ve found her lips.

Sabrina- Actually, I think that’s a nose. This is a lot harder than Mr. Potato-head.

Zelda- we’re gonna need a professional, honey. We can’t fix Hilda but someone else can, send us an expert like Rodin.

She give her finger a little wave to activate the incantation and zap! Rodin is stood looking around slightly confused. He scratches at his beard until he spots Sabrina and Zelda.

Rodin- Ooo-la-la! It would be my pleasure to sculpt such beautiful, gorgeous women such as yourselves. Ha-ha-ha.

Sabrina- Actually, we just need you to fix my broken aunt.

Later. Rodin stands back to show the Hilda statue that now does indeed look like Hilda.

Rodin- Vouala, ce fait.

Sabrina- Oh! That means it’s done. Four years of French.

Zelda- Hey, what about this piece?

Rodin- Appendix! Don’t need.

Sabrina- Okay, well now that you’ve put her back together, how do you bring her back to life?

Rodin- I am artist, not genetic engineer. If you want a heart beating or a plasma flowing, you should consult a specialist.

He hands Sabrina a card before waving his hand and vanishing.

Sabrina- (Reading the card) ‘Ed’s life and storage warehouse. We revive your loved ones at factory rep prices’ This is perfect!

Zelda- (Taking the card) No, it’s not. I have heard about this quack. He’s unlicensed, unethical and, from what I can see in this photograph, unwashed. I am not putting my sister’s fate in his hands!

Sabrina- But what choice do we have?

Zelda- Hello! Brilliant research scientist! Surely I can find a way to bring Hilda back to life. To the lab-top!

Zelda hands the card back to Sabrina and strides off in an imitation of Adam West’s Batman.

Sabrina- (Calling after) Oh but we get a free bag of white blood cells just for coming in!

Int. Spellman dinning room. Sabrina is sat dozing at the table with her head resting on her arms and her mouth open, drooling as Zelda continues to work at the lab-top with manic energy.

Zelda- Eureka!

Sabrina is shocked awake.

Sabrina- You’ve got it?

Zelda- No, but I have figured out how to make an amoeba come when I call him.

Sabrina- (Annoyed) That’s it? You’ve been working at this for two days!

Zelda- If I have to work at this lab-top for two thousand days I am going to find a way to bring my sister back to life!

She sits back down at the lab-top and stares at the culture dish.

Zelda- (To the amoeba) Here Fluffy, Fluffy. <Kiss-kiss-kiss>

Sabrina sidles away thinking that her aunt who isn’t a statue has completely lost it. She walks up to the aunt who is a statue.

Sabrina- (Under her breath) Well I can’t wait that long and neither can aunt Hilda.

She points at the statue and but it and her vanish in a swirl of sparkles.

Int. Ed’s Life and Storage. Amongst all the other things stored there is a whole lot of cobwebs. Now who would want to store cobwebs?... Probably aunt Zelda. Sabrina wheels the Hilda statue in on a trolley and manoeuvres around the cobweb covered statues.

Sabrina- Okay, I get the storage part but I’m not seeing a lot o’ life around here.

One of the statues throws back his statue coloured hood and brushes off a few cobwebs as he whirls to confront Sabrina. Sabrina jumps back in alarm.

Ed- Welcome to Ed’s, where the customer is always right.

Sabrina- At the moment, the customer’s a little creeped out. I’m Sabrina Spellman and this is my aunt Hilda.

Ed- Oh yes. Frozen in a state of perpetual heartbreak. Tragic... but good for business! What can I do for you?

Sabrina- Well I was hoping you could bring her back to life.

Ed- Oh, that’s going to cost you.

Sabrina- Oh that’s okay, as long as you take credit cards. (Pleased) You know, I just got bumped up to platinum.

Ed- No. Your money’s no good here. A witch must pay with a personal sacrifice.

Sabrina- I’m getting that creeped out feeling again.

Ed- In exchange for reviving your aunt you must be willing to give up your true love.

Sabrina- Whoa! I have to give up Josh?!

Ed- Not necessarily, but you have to be willing to take that gamble. Are you willing to risk your own love life to save your aunts?

Sabrina- You know Ed, I am really happy with my love life these days. You know, is there anything else I could sacrifice, like give up Gummy Bears?

Ed- Sorry. This is why most of my customers opt for storage.

Sabrina- (To Hilda, the statue) Well I’m the one that did this to you, so I’ve gotta make the sacrifice. All right, it’s a deal.

She holds out her hand to shake and Ed takes it in both of his. His hands glow and something bright and vital is taken from Sabrina. He holds it gently for a moment in his palms before passing it into the statue of Hilda. The statue glows a bright pink and thousands of hairline cracks appear before the thin outer coating falls away to reveal a dazed but living Hilda. She staggers slightly.

Hilda- What a rush! (To Ed) Who are you?

Sabrina- Oh, this is Ed. He brought you back to life.

Hilda- Gee, thanks Ed.

Ed- Don’t mention it.

Hilda- Just out of morbid curiosity, why was I dead?

Sabrina- See, when I didn’t believe you were truly in love with Will, I came up with a plan to drive him away, but he really is your true love so you froze and shattered into pieces for which I’m really-really-really sorry!

Hilda- Not half as sorry as I am. I have to go find my true love... Again.

She sets off but is soon distracted by a cobweb covered sign.

Hilda- (Cont.) Ooh! Free white blood cells. These make great stocking stuffers.

She picks up a bag and leaves.

Ed- (To Sabrina) You’re all done.

Sabrina- Thanks. Um, you know that whole love life sacrifice thing? You know, I know the gummy Bear thing didn’t fly for you, but what if I cut back on my usage of the term ‘Whoo-hoo’?

Ed- Yes, that would be a big sacrifice for you but NO!

Int. College house. The card school is still in session. There has been a marked shift in power since last we visited. Sabrina enters and gives Josh a quick peck on the cheek.

Roxie- Hey Sabrina. You’re here just in time to see Harvey wipe us out for the twelfth time in a row.

Sabrina- Harvey? The worst poker player in all the planet?

Harvey- And yet the person with the most chips.

Sabrina notices the little wink that passes between Harvey and Salem but that only serves to confirm her suspicions.

Sabrina- I have a feeling your luck is about to change.

She points at Salem behind Josh’s back and casually walks into the kitchen and starts grabs a cold drink.

Morgan- Harvey, the bet is to you. What are you gonna do?

Harvey- Let’s see, should I fold.

Salem- <Atchoo!>

Harvey- I guess I’m in.

Salem- <Atchoo!>

Harvey- Actually, I’ll fold.

Salem- <Atchoo!>

Harvey- I’m in! I’m in!

He throws in his chips.

Josh- Okay, straight flush, jacks high. What have you got?

Harvey- (Dejected) A pair of tens.

Josh- Ha! Finally, all is right with the world!

He rakes in his winnings.

Josh- (Cont.) Kinkle’s losing again.

Salem- <Atchoo!>

Miles- the cat’s not doing so good either.

Morgan- Gosh Harvey, what happened to your winning streak?

Sabrina- I guess he just ran into a spell of bad luck.

Harvey looks up a Sabrina with sudden understanding.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Um Josh, before you get into the next game, could I talk to you for a minute?

She gestures outside.

Josh- Er yeah, sure.

Ext. College house front porch. Sabrina leads Josh outside and they sit together side by side on the porch swing.

Josh- What’s going on?

Sabrina- I just want to make sure that you know, if anything should ever happen and we can’t be together. I’ll always love you.

Josh looks at her with a confused and slightly concerned expression but from Sabrina’s view, such a serious conversation requires a major sacrifice from Josh.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Could you take off that visor?

Josh- (Taking off the visor) What are you talking about? Are you okay?

Sabrina- I’m fine. It just... you never know what’s gonna happen.

Josh- Sabrina, I don’t know why you’re talking like this but I love you and I never wanna lose you.

Sabrina- I never want to lose you either. You’re the sweetest, most caring guy I’ve ever known.

They lean together and kiss lingeringly. When the break, Sabrina smiles.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Now get in there and shake down my friends down for all they’re worth.

She watches him leave and the smile slowly turns melancholy.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Zelda’s turning into a mad professor with her hair sticking up all over as she concocts her bizarre concoctions.

Zelda- (To herself) ...And a little bit of frog essence and presto! The amoeba is dead.

She bangs her head on the table as Hilda and Will enter unseen behind her.

Zelda- (Cont.) Fifty-two hours straight and still no Hilda to show for it!

Hilda- Whaddya doin’?

Zelda- Do you mind! I’m trying to bring my dear sister back... (Realises) Hilda?! I brought you back to life!

She hugs Hilda.

Hilda- Sure. If it makes you feel better. (Aside to Will) She’s so needy. (To Zelda) Anyway, we’re getting married here this Saturday so clean this all up.

Zelda- Listen you two. I am so glad that you are back together and I never should have doubted your love. (To Will) And I’m really sorry that I threw myself at you.

Will- Forget about it. I was over it while it was happening.

Zelda- Oh, that’s good…?

She thinks about it as Hilda and Will head into the kitchen and isn’t sure if she should be happy about it.

Ext. Spellman back garden. Saturday. The sun is blindingly bright off the beautiful maroon and yellow creation that Sabrina, the bridesmaids wearing as she walks back down the isle smiling at the many guests to where Will is standing looking very handsome in his tails.

Sabrina- So, how do you feel?

Will- I’m excited... yet a little worried that Hilda’s running an hour and a half late.

Sabrina- Oh you really don’t know her that well yet, do you? D’you want me to go check up on her for you?

Will- No, no, I don’t want to put you out. Wait a minute! You almost destroyed my relationship! Yeah, go.

Int. Spellman upstairs landing. Sabrina knocks on Hilda’s bedroom door. There’s the sound of crying from within.

Sabrina- Aunt Hilda, everything okay?

Hilda- (OS) <Sob!> Hi honey

Int. Hilda’s bedroom. Three sobbing maids sit on the end of the bed when Sabrina enters. Hilda in a gorgeous white wedding dress, Zelda in yellow and maroon to match Sabrina and Salem sporting a yellow butterfly collar and maroon bow tie.

Sabrina- Oh, why are you two crying?

Salem- <Sob! Sob! Sob!> Make that three <Sob!>

Hilda- <Sniff!> I’m gonna miss all you guys so much!

Sabrina sits on the end of the bed with them and puts her arms round her aunt.

Sabrina- Oh aunt Hilda, we’re still gonna see each other.

Hilda- <Sniff!> It’s never going to be like it was though.

Zelda- <Sniff!> But it will be wonderful <Sniff!> In a whole different way. <Sob!>

Sabrina- Yeah, you’ll have new adventures with the man you love.

Hilda- Well they’ll have to be awfully good adventures to top the ones we’ve had. <Sniff!> Crossing swords with pirates.

Zelda- Taking a trip to look at time-shares in hell.<Sob!>

Sabrina- I’ll never forget when we skied on Mars, or when we rode the roller coaster on the rings of Saturn, or when you rescued me from the volcano, or when you <Sob!> took me in a raised me like I was your own daughter <Sob! Sob!>

She grabs a tissue

Sabrina, Hilda, Zelda & Salem- <Sob! Sob! Sob! Sob!>

Hilda- <Sob!> And now it’s the happiest day of my life. <Sniff! Sob!>

Sabrina, Hilda, Zelda & Salem- <Sob! Sob! Sob! Sob!>

Four maids a-sobbing.

Ext. Spellman back garden. It’s decked out in flowers and garlands, the bridesmaids stand behind Hilda and Salem sits behind Will as the best man… The best? Ah well. Will and Hilda gaze lovingly into each others eyes before the minister.

Minister- ...Which is why we are gathered here today, to join these two together in holly matrimony.

Roxie- (Aside to Harvey) Hilda looks so beautiful.

Harvey- And so happy.

Miles- I swear, if that cat starts singing ‘Oh promise me’ I’m out o’ here.

Morgan- (Aside to Roxie) I don’t mean to be critical, but don’t the bridesmaids look like they should be playing at the Rose Bowl?

Minister- Do you, Will, take Hilda to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Will- Grrrr!

Hilda giggles.

Minister- E-hem?

Will- I do.

Minister- And do you, Hilda, take Will to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Hilda- Like I’m gonna say no now? I don’t think so. (On the Ministers look) All right. I do.

Minister- I now pronounce you Husband and Wife. Er you may kiss each other now.

Violins play as they do as the Minister suggests with a very practiced technique. When they finally break for air.

Hilda- Okay ladies, get ready!

They do, Sabrina, Zelda, Roxie and Morgan at the front of the crowd of eager women.

Hilda- (Cont.) Zellie, go long!

She throws the bouquet and with a shove from Zelda, the scrum goes down in a large heap with cheers from all the guys. Zelda comes up with the prize.

Will- (To Hilda) Come here you!

He gets a lip-lock on her again but she doesn’t complain.

Sabrina- Oh, thanks a lot aunt Zelda, I broke my heel!

Zelda- (Delighted) But I got the bouquet! I’m getting married next. So, er, everybody start shopping. I need flat wear and a bagel slicer. Whoo-hoo!

Sabrina- A husband wouldn’t hurt.

Int. Spellman kitchen. Sabrina hobbles in on her broken heel and sees on the table.

Sabrina- Oh the cakes here. It’s...

She also sees who has delivered it. She stands there smitten with her broken heel in her hand as she looks up at the young man.

Sabrina- (Cont.) ...Beautiful.

Delivery Man- (Looking back) Yes.

They can only stand and gaze at each other until Sabrina becomes aware on the heel in her hand.

Sabrina- I, er, broke my heel.

Delivery Man- Oh, please, let me fix it.

He pulls out a chair and she sits down. He kneels and takes her tiny foot in his hands.

Sabrina- Wow! So who are you and why do I suddenly feel the urge to break my other heel?

Delivery Man- I’m Luke. Feel free to break it.

Harvey enters with the distinct intensity of a spell in the air.

Harvey- Sabrina, I’ve got something to tell you. I’m still in love with you but I know it will never be returned, so I’m moving to California.

Sabrina- What?!

Josh enters, the feeling of witchery grows stronger.

Josh- Sabrina, I don’t know what just came over me but I can’t ever see you again. I’m taking that newspaper job in Prague.

Sabrina- WHAT?!

Luke stands up from fixing Sabrina’s heel. Magic practically crackles around the room.

Luke, The Delivery Man- Well it was nice meeting you. I guess I’ll never see you again.

Sabrina- WHAT?!

Luke, Josh & Harvey- (Together) Goodbye Sabrina.

Luke leaves through the back door, Josh takes the scenic dining room route and Harvey, ever the direct one heads straight for the front door. Sabrina can only stand and watch her true love walk out of her life.

Sabrina- Goodbye?

A knot clamps around her heart and sweeps outwards, freezing as it goes, turning everything to stone. Sabrina, the statue stands for only a moment before the hairline crack in her broken heart causes the whole thing to shatter into a thousand pieces.

Run credits.