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Sabrina The Teenage Witch - View Transcript

Ping Ping A Song

Written By – Tod Himmel
Transcribed By - Paul Booth

Cast

Sabrina - Melissa Joan Hart
Salem - Nick Bakay
Morgan - Elisa Donovan
Roxie - Soleil Moon Frye
Harvey - Nate Richert
Cole - Andrew Walker
Leonard - John Ducey
Annie - Diana-Marie Riva
James - Bumper Robinson
Aunt Lorraine - Sally Struthers
Colin - Chris Harrison
Zeke - Drew Lachey

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters in this transcript, nor do I own any rights to the television show Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. It was created by Nell Scovell and belongs to her, Viacom Productions Inc, Hartbreak Films, and the Warner Brothers Television network. The characters are based on the original characters appearing in Archie Comics.

 

Int. Spellman living room. Harvey is lay on the settee watching motor racing on TV with Salem. Harvey’s not enjoying it and reaches for the remote.

Salem- Touch that remote and I’ll use you for a scratching post!

Harvey- Are you threatening me, cat?

Salem- Sounds like it, Kinkle!

Harvey grabs Salem and they topple over the back of the settee. There’s the sound of scuffling and then Salem starts to climb back up.

Salem- He-he-he-urg!

Harvey’s hands come up and grab Salem throat, dragging him back out of site where there’s more scuffling before Harvey comes up clutching his prize.

Harvey- Ah-ha! Sweet victory! No one! No one is taking this away from me!

Sabrina comes dashing down the stairs, takes the remote from Harvey’s surprised hand.

Sabrina- Thanks Harvey. (Calling out) Hurry up, it’s time for National Superstars!

Morgan runs in from the kitchen with a large bowl of popcorn.

Morgan- Coming through! National Superstars is about to start!

Sabrina switches to the correct channel just as Roxie arrives home breathless from work.

Roxie- Did I miss anything!

They all sit on the settee and dig into the popcorn.

Harvey- Does it matter that I was just watching TV?

Sabrina- Were you going to watch National Superstars?

Harvey- No!

Sabrina- Then it doesn’t matter. This is the finale. Clay’s gonna sing against Tania.

Morgan- Oh I wouldn’t mind making a little dreidel out of Clay.

Sabrina- You know, I just love watching someone’s dreams coming true right before our eyes.

Roxie- I love the public humiliation.

Morgan- I love the fashion horror show.

The three of them sit glued to the TV.

Run opening credits.

Int. Scorch Magazine. Sabrina sits at the conference table along with Annie and the rest of the staff. Annie’s not happy.

Annie- That’s it? Nobody has a story idea?

James- Well Annie, it’s been kind of a slow week. I mean, no rappers got arrested, no movie stars were hospitalised... for "exhaustion"

Annie- Come on! A new trend, a new band, there must be a story we haven’t done?

Sabrina- Okay, last night on National Superstars...

James and Cole grin at each other in a ‘is this girl for real’ sort of way.

Sabrina- (Cont.) ...which I only watch because my roommates made me, they announced they’re gonna do their next show in Boston. I mean, maybe we could do a story on that?

Cole- That show is so lame.

Sabrina joins in with the general mutters of agreement.

James- Seriously, I cannot believe people watch that junk.

Cole- There’s no way Clay should have won, okay! Tania was so much better!

Leonard- Tania was hot! Rosie O’Donnell hot.

Annie- Okay, you all have got to get a life, right... Clay rocks. (To Sabrina) Okay, great story idea, can’t do it. Absolutely no reporters allowed.

She gets up and heads to her office.

Sabrina- (Calling after) Well what if hide my little hat that says ‘Press’? (To the rest at the table) No reporters allowed? What’s the big deal? It’s not like it’s a crime scene. Well except when Tania murdered ‘My heart will go on’

Leonard- Nah, great story idea. Between you and me, it’s been a dream of mine to be on National Superstars. I sing the hell out of Lady Marmalade.

A light bulb goes off in Sabrina’s brain.

Sabrina- That’s it! I’ll enter undercover as a contestant. Oh, that way there’s nothing stopping me getting a great story! Well, except abject fear.

Leonard- Well you probably wouldn’t be so afraid if you had a er... partner in crime?

Sabrina- I see where you’re going, Leonard. Yeah, Y’know what, I’ll call Roxie and Morgan and see if they wanna do it with me. Yeah, they’ll get a kick out of it and I’ll have two more contestants to interview.

She picks up the phone while Leonard looks on feeling dejected and rejected.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Thanks Leonard.

Leonard- Fine. You can have my dream but you’re not getting my costume!

He leaves in a huff.

Int. National Superstars audition room. A young guy stands before the judging panel and sings ‘Almost Paradise’. Backstage Sabrina paces and talks into her pocket recorder.

Sabrina- As we prepare for out National Superstars audition, the air is full of tension, excitement and... cheap hairspray.

Roxie- Not to mention people who aren’t reporters talking into their hand.

Morgan- I know we’re kinda being used to further your career, but this is the best way I have been used in years!

Roxie- Yeah, thanks for forcing us to do this.

Sabrina- No problem. You know, it really means a lot to have you guys here. I don’t think I could do this alone. You really are the best pals a gal ever had.

Morgan- That’s our name! Gal Pals!... but with a ‘Z’

Sabrina- Okay, as long as I don’t have to change my name to Zabrina.

Roxie- (Watching the guy singing on the monitor) I know we’re not here to win, but that guys really good.

Sabrina- Yeah, he’s all right, y’know, if you like rhythm and perfect pitch, but does his name have a ‘Z’ in it?

He finishes his song and there are applause and the occasional teenage scream from the audience. Colin, the presenter walks onto the stage with his microphone.

Colin- Thank you, Zeke.

Zeke- Thank you.

Sabrina’s smile falters.

Morgan- All these people are really good. Usually there’s at least one act that stinks... Oh-oh!

Roxie- I didn’t really think this through. If we sing, people are going to be celebrating our public humiliation!

Morgan- And I’ve never won a contest where I wasn’t wearing a bikini! I got a lot of flack from the other kids in the spelling bee for that.

Sabrina- Guys! Guys! Wait. Come on, you can’t back out now!

Roxie- But I’m so nervous I think my throats closing up! I’ve gotta get out o’ here!

Morgan- Me too!

They head for the chairs where they’ve left their bags and coats.

Sabrina- Oh, nothing’s ever easy! (Under her breath) When asked to sing, there’s no time to debate so make magic lozenges so our voices sound great!

She points at the palm of her hand and out of a small swirl of sparkles comes a tin of...

Sabrina- (Cont.) Wow! (Reading) ‘Aunt Lorraine’s Talent Lozenges. Now with twenty-five percent more talent’

She is just in time to intercept her friends as the head for the exit.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Guys! Wait! Look, win or lose, it’ll be fun if we do it together. You know, you just have pre audition jitters. Why don’t we all relax and take a lozenge?

Roxie- (Taking a lozenge) I don’t think a simple lozenge will...

She pops it in her mouth and the effect is instantaneous.

Roxie- (Cont.) Whoa! This does feel good!

Morgan- (Taking a lozenge) Is this honey and lemon, because I don’t really...

Sabrina- (Interrupting) Oh eat it!

She pushes it into Morgan’s mouth. Morgan is startled as Sabrina pops one into her own mouth. They all sigh with sparkling musical notes coming from their mouths. As the applause for Zeke fades Colin makes the next introduction.

Colin- And now welcome our next contestants to the National Superstars auditions. Gal Pals... Z!

The three girls stand grinning inanely in the spotlight until Colin gestures for them to move towards the three microphones that are set up. They quickly do as Harvey and the rest of the audience raise another rousing round of applause. Harvey looks distinctly uncomfortable as he has a pretty good idea what to expect.

Sabrina, Roxie & Morgan- (Singing) No, you’re never gonna get it.

Morgan- (Singing) Aw!

Sabrina, Roxie & Morgan- (Singing) Never ever gonna get it.

Roxie- (Singing) No, Not this time!

Sabrina, Roxie & Morgan- (Singing) No, you’re never gonna get it.

Sabrina- (Singing) My love!

Sabrina, Roxie & Morgan- (Singing) Never ever gonna get it!
Ah-ah-ah-ah

Sabrina- (Singing) So maybe next time you’ll give your woman a little respect.

Morgan- (Singing) So you wont be hearing her say...

Sabrina, Roxie & Morgan- (Singing) No way! No, you’re never gonna get it.

Roxie- (Singing) Sweet lovin’.

Sabrina & Morgan- (Singing) Never ever gonna get it.

Roxie- (Singing) Sweet lovin’

Sabrina & Morgan- (Singing) No, you’re never gonna get it.

Sabrina- (Singing) My lovin’

Roxie & Morgan- (Singing) Never ever gonna get it.

Sabrina, Roxie & Morgan- (Singing) Oooow bop!

The harmonies, the dance moves, everything spelled superstars. The audience loved it and show their appreciation.

Colin- Fantastic! (To the girls) Nice job. (To camera) We’re gonna take a quick break. We’ll be right back after this.

Backstage, three very excited girls come off stage.

Roxie- Is it me, or did we actually sound decent?

Sabrina- Decent? We rocked!

Harvey comes backstage from the audience.

Harvey- Wow, you guys sounded amazing!... which is weird because I’ve heard the three of you sing in the car and, to be honest, I thought it was engine trouble.

Roxie and Morgan pooh-poohs him and go to watch the rest of the auditions.

Sabrina- Well we practiced... and, you know, this place has really good acoustics... plus, we may have taken some magic lozenges. So you really though we were good?

Harvey- Magic lozenges?

Sabrina- Well it was an emergency! You know, Roxie and Morgan were gonna bale on me and I wouldn’t have an article... plus, I did have a little tickle.

She points at her throat but it doesn’t change Harvey’s reproachful look.

Sabrina- Here, you can have ‘em.

She hands Harvey the tin of lozenges.

Sabrina- (Cont.) See, all through. No harm done.

Roxie runs up to them.

Roxie- Sabrina, we’re in! We’re semi-finalists!

Sabrina- What?!

Roxie- They just announced it! Come on.

Sabrina- (To Harvey) Well this wasn’t supposed to happen! I-I have what I need for my article!

There’s a ping if magic as Roxie drags her away.

Sabrina- (To Roxie) How’s my hair?

Harvey watches them go before looking down at the tin in his hands. He turns it over.

Harvey- (Reading) ‘Warning: Excess exposure to limelight may have adverse effects’ Adverse effects?

He glances up at a TV monitor set up back stage to see Sabrina and her palz milking the applause.

Sabrina- (On TV) Thank you. Thank you. Without you people we’re nothing.

Harvey- (To himself) No, without these you’re nothing.

Int. Spellman living room. Sabrina, Morgan and Roxie come down stairs still on top of the world and relishing their new found fame. Salem relishes his nap draped over the back of a chair.

Morgan- Can you believe we have a hair appointment at ten? I didn’t even call until last night.

Sabrina- Well, being famous means no waiting. You know, it’s too bad none of us needs a kidney.

Harvey enters via the front door.

Harvey- Hey, did you guys notice someone going through your trash?

Sabrina- Well, Harvey, we are kinda famous. I mean, everybody wants their Gal Palz souvenirs. Everything we touch turns to money.

Salem- Ghe?!

His green cat eyes become greenback cat eyes with, instead of a slit, a dollar sign.

Roxie- Hurry up, we’re gonna be late.

Sabrina puts the finishing touches to her lip gloss while Roxie and Morgan grab their bags and head for the door.

Harvey- Aren’t you guys going to work?

Roxie- I’m taking a leave of absence. They were very understanding. Of course, when our record hits number one, I’ll blow off that dead end job like a devilride in Kansas.

Morgan- And if I had a job to quit, I’d blow it off too. Oh...

She gets her planner out and turns to the ‘To do’ page and scribbles.

Morgan- (Writing) Get job. Quit.

Roxie and Morgan leave.

Sabrina- And this is my job, remember? I’m doing a story here. This isn’t about the fame or the glory or...

A car horn beeps.

Sabrina- (Cont.) ...Limo’s here! Gotta go!

She tries to push passed Harvey but he stops her.

Harvey- Hey wait! We need to talk about you and these lozenges and this little warning label.

Sabrina- Look, just leave any of your concerns on my machine, okay.

She gives him a fake showbiz kiss on each cheek that comes nowhere near to actually touching him in case it smudges her makeup and leaves. Harvey closes the door.

Harvey- (To Salem) Why are you just sitting there? Can’t you see that something’s wrong?

Salem- All I see is a couple o’ girls enjoying their moment in the sun... And it being rained on by some Harvey downer!

Harvey- Well I guess a little fame isn’t such a bad thing. It gives them a little boost, a little thrill.

Salem- And gets us a lot of cash! Now, I’ll hop on Ebay, you go cut their sheets into one inch squares.

‘Never gonna get it’ by ‘Gal Palz’ plays over the following.

Sabrina tales a copy of ‘Blurr’ magazine down from a rack and admires the photo of the latest girl band sensation on the cover. She hands it to Roxie who, in turn, gives it to Morgan. She folds it so only her picture is visible and holds it up against her face. Sabrina and Roxie give her a narrow eyed look.

Int. Eve’s Diner. A framed picture of Gal Palz is put up by the door along side other celebrities. While Morgan and Sabrina go round the diner signing autographs, Roxie pulls out a frames black and white portrait picture of herself and hands it to the waiter with a winning smile. Her picture replaces the one of all three of them.

Int. Spellman living room. Roxie sits reading her fan mail of which there’s a shoe box full. Morgan has a special container from the United States Postal Service with her name on it that she picks through. Sabrina is sat reading a magazine and looks up at her friends with a frown. She then shrugs and reaches down the side of the settee and hauls up a huge mail bag that some state prisoner has stitched a monogram on for her. She gets jealous looks from both her band mates.

Ext. National Superstars studio. Gal Palz come out of the stage door to flashing camera bulbs and screaming fans. They push and barge at each other to get the better picture taken, posing. Sabrina trips and falls flat but is unfazed as she gets to her feet smiling and tossing her hair for the cameras.

With an ‘Oooow bop!’ the song finishes.

Int. The National Superstars studio. Gal Palz stand on stage with Zeke and the other acts that had auditioned. Colin holds his mic.

Colin- And now, the moment all of America, including Porto Rico and Guam, has been waiting for. Who will be the two National Superstar finalists? For some, the dream will end here...

Roxie- (Aside) Morgan, do you want to explain that little shimmy you did at the end of our number?

Sabrina- (Aside) And Roxie, what’s with you standing in front of me during my close up?

Morgan- (Aside) She had to, we thought you were going to French kiss the camera.

Colin- (Holding up an envelope) ...here it is. Our National Superstar finalists are... (Drum roll) Zeke Tyler!

Zeke punches the air in delight and his fans roar their approval from the audience.

Sabrina- (Aside) Oh please!

Roxie- (Aside) Pity vote.

Morgan- (Aside) It’s all about his hair.

Colin- And our other finalist is... (More drum role) ...or should I say ‘are’ Gal Palz!

The crowd applaud again as the girls squeal with delight and rush forward to Colin and his mic and barging Zeke out of the way.

Colin- (Cont.) Ladies, congratulations. We all know you’re good friends but did you ever dream you’d make it this far as singers?

Sabrina- (Grabs the mic) No, Actually I just wanna say that we are...

Morgan- (Snatching the mic) Not in a million years! Not unless it was as a solo act.

Sabrina- (Snatching the mic) Which might happen sooner than you think. I...

Roxie- (Snatching the mic) Colin, I always believed I would make it in music if I could just find the right singers to back up my voice.

Sabrina- (Snatching the mic) Hello! They might wanna hear what the blonde has to say! After all, I am the one who started this whole singing group.

Roxie- Well let the blonde say what she wants! She always does.

With a flick of her hair, Roxie storms off the stage.

Morgan- (To Sabrina) Yes, you always do. (Snatching the mic) Even though, based on our fan mail, people seem to be a bit more interested in the red head than they are in the "blonde"!

She hands the mic back to Sabrina and walks off in a diva fit.

Sabrina- Hey-hey-hey! Don’t walk away from me! You can’t do this without me! I pick the songs! I arrange them and... I drove!

She hands the mic to Colin and rushes after Morgan and Roxie as Colin, Zeke, the rest of the contestants and all of America, including Porto Rico and Guam, watch on in bemused wonder. Now that’s entertainment.

Int. Spellman living room. A disembodied voice over a speaker system gives the guided tour to a group of six paying punters. Their cameras snap away at everything and anything.

Salem- (Over the PA) And to the right is the couch where the Gal Palz kick back and watch the tube as they sip their favourite libation, strawberry smoothies. Available in the kitchen for three ninety-five.

Sabrina comes downstairs.

Sabrina- What is all the racket? I mean, can’t someone get a little peace and quiet around here while they recharge their creative...

She spots the tour group.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Oh for the love of crying out loud. I’m sorry, the help entrance is the back door and if you need to use the bathroom, there’s a Chevron on the corner.

She turns to go back upstairs.

Salem- (Over the PA) And there’s some of the sassy Sabrina spirit we’ve all come to love.

She stops and makes a bee line for the dining room. When she pulls back the door she finds Salem sat before a microphone.

Sabrina- Salem, what are you doing?

Salem- Cashing in, your divaness. These people aren’t the help, they’re paying customers, tourists, your fans.

She gasps and turns to the punters.

Sabrina- The little people. Oh thank you all so much for coming. I love all of you like family. Now please exit through the kitchen and try not to touch anything. Bye-bye.

They all exit through the kitchen.

Sabrina- (Calling after) And I’m glad I could make your day. (To herself) Oh, who am I kidding. (Calling again) Your life!

Morgan and Roxie come down stairs loaded down with suitcases and attitude.

Sabrina- Oh! And where do you two think you’re going?

Morgan- If you think that I’m spending one more minute in this house after your scene stealing tantrum last night, think again. I am not the wind beneath your wings. I am a star in my own right.

Roxie- In your own mind! (To Sabrina) This whole suburban grannies house thing is so not Roxie King. It’s frumpy, it’s dated, it’s drab, but it works for you. Chow.

Sabrina- Fine. You know what? You two have saved me the trouble of having to throw the two of you out.

She opens the door and gestures for them to leave. Morgan pushes passed.

Morgan- Thanks for getting the door. It’s in your future, get used to it. I’m off to my photo shoot at Scorch.

A car horn beeps.

Morgan- (Cont.) Oh look, there’s my limo now.

Roxie- Whaddya mean, your limo?

Sabrina- And whaddya mean, your photo shoot?

Morgan- Oh, it’s the black limo. You take it, Roxie. It’s more slimming.

She turns and leaves and with a huff, Roxie follows after.

Sabrina- (To herself) I wanna limo!

Harvey enters.

Harvey- Hey, what’s goin’ on? I had to pay fifteen dollars to get in here?

Salem- (Over the PA) For an extra five you can see the car and rub the cat’s tummy.

Sabrina- (Angry) Can it, Salem!

Harvey- I have to talk to you. I tried to catch you last night but I couldn’t keep up with your limo.

Sabrina- Oh, was that you banging on the trunk? Look, Harvey, I have no time, okay? I have to volumise my hair and launch a solo career before lunch. Ha-ha-ha! Like I eat lunch anymore.

Harvey- Will you quit the diva act for two seconds and listen? (Pulls out the tin) Look, on the lozenge box it says ‘Exposure to limelight may have adverse effects’

Sabrina- What? It’s not like I’m going to be operating heavy machinery.

Harvey- Don’t you get it? These are adverse effects! All this fame is making you act like some kinda egotistical movie star!

Sabrina- Really?... Which one, because I get Meg Ryan a lot.

Harvey- I didn’t wanna have to do this but you leave me no choice.

He walks to the coffee table, picks up the remote and turns on the VCR.

Harvey- (Cont.) This is last nights show.

Sabrina- (On TV) Don’t walk away from me! You can’t do this without me! I pick the songs! I arrange...

He presses the pause button and the picture isn’t pretty. There’s the distinct ping of magic in the air as Sabrina sinks down into the chair shocked.

Sabrina- Oh my gosh! I was so ugly!

Harvey- Yes, you really did look like a witch.

Sabrina- I am out of control! Did I really call Roxie and Morgan no talent hacks?

Harvey- If only you’d been that nice. Maybe I need to check you into some kinda diva detox centre.

Sabrina- No-no-no-no-no. Now that I know what’s going on, I can handle it. I just have to stay out of the limelight, and pull Roxie and Morgan out of it too before it completely destroys our friendship.

Harvey- Come on, I’ll drive. (On Sabrina’s look) It can’t always be a limo!

Sabrina- Oh all right! All right... but I’m riding in the back and you’re wearing the hat!

She follows him out the door.

Int. Scorch Magazine. Morgan leans indolently against a desk as Cole conducts an in-depth interview with her. Behind her, Roxie poses sexily for James to photograph.

Cole- So er, how do you rate your competition in the finals?

Morgan- Oh please. Roxie has two left feet and Sabrina, you’d think, had three.

Cole- I meant the other finalists?

Morgan gives him a black look.

James- All right Roxie, I think we’re about done.

Roxie- Done? We haven’t even started. We’ve only shot coy Roxie and pouty Roxie. My fans deserve to see serious Roxie and sporty Roxie.

She walks passed Morgan and flicks her Hair into Morgan’s face.

James- (To Cole) I’ve got a Roxie I’d like to show ‘em. Autopsy Roxie.

Sabrina enters and the first person she meets is...

Annie- Oh finally, the last of our divas has arrived. I’m assuming you’ll want your own hair and makeup people and a stash of bottled water?

Sabrina- No-no-no-no-no. It’s just me, Sabrina. Lowly little Sabrina. I just came to talk to my friends and get out o’ here.

She hurries over to Morgan and Cole.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Morgan, come on. We’re leaving.

Morgan- First of all: I am not even talking to you and second of all: everything has to be booked through my manager and third of all: my manager isn’t talking to you, either.

Sabrina- Morgan, listen to me. We’ve gotta get out of the limelight, it’s destroying us and our friendship! I mean, who cares about fame and fortune and our faces pasted on billboards?

Morgan- Er, let me see... I do.

James- Excuse me, can I take a couple of pictures of you guys?

Morgan poses and smiles, Sabrina throws up her hand.

Sabrina- No-no-no-no. No pictures, no flashes, no fawning...

James takes a picture, the camera flashes and the magic goes ping.

Sabrina- (Cont.) ...Not until I’ve finished my makeup.

She pings again.

Sabrina- Oh! What’s happening? Must resist the limelight! (To James) Stop! (To Morgan) And you have to too, Morgan.

Morgan- Right. I’ve never resisted anything. (To James) Click away shutterbug.

Roxie stomps over.

Roxie- Are you taking photos without me? I know what’s going on. You’re trying to force me out of the group!

Sabrina- No-no-no-no. I’m trying to force you guys out the door, okay? All this fame has gone to our heads and we’ve become awful, ugly people.

Morgan- Speak for yourself, Spellman. My photos turned out great.

Sabrina- Guys, if you remember anything about our friendship, you’ll remember that...

James takes another picture.

Sabrina- (Cont.) <Ping> I’m the one who started this group!

She pushes Morgan out of the way and smiles for the camera. She pings again and gets out of the way and out of the line of James’ camera.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Oh, must protect my friends!

She may have escaped from James but she’s walked right into a battery of photographers. A barrage of flashes causes another ping.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Friends are fleeting; fans are forever. <Ping> No-no. Must stop! Must be real person! <Ping>

They’re coming thick and fast.

Sabrina- (Cont.) As soon as I finish this role. Love me. Love me. Love me.

She’s lost to the diva magic as a Harvey in shining... leather coat comes to her rescue.

Harvey- Sorry Sabrina. I finally found a parking... Oh no! All right, we’ve gotta get you out of here!

He takes off his shiny leather coat and puts it over Sabrina’s head.

Harvey- (Cont.) Apparently, you’re not as strong as you thought you were.

He slings her over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift and staggers towards the door.

Harvey- (Cont.) Oh, neither am I <Gasp!>

Int. Spellman kitchen. Sabrina and Harvey enter through the back door.

Sabrina- What am I gonna do? I mean, I can’t spend the rest of my life locked in this house. For one thing, we’re almost out of fudgecicles.

Harvey- (Holding the lozenges) It’s hard to believe that something billed as ‘Cool and refreshing’ can be so dark and destructive.

Sabrina- Well you can throw those away. I mean, they’re the reason I got in this whole mess.

Harvey goes to drop them in the trash.

Sabrina- (Cont.) I want to give aunt Lorraine a piece of my mind! Wait a minute! That’s it. I’ve got to get to the source of my problem.

She takes the tin if lozenges from Harvey and points at it. The picture of aunt Lorraine with her hair up in a bun becomes animated and says in a very rough vioice.

Aunt Lorraine- Aunt Lorraine, when your throat’s a pain.

Sabrina- Listen Lorraine, yeah, I’ve had a real problem with your lozenges.

Aunt Lorraine- Whatever your problem is, there was a warning label.

Sabrina- Here’s a warning. If you don’t help me, I’ll twist your bun off!

Aunt Lorraine- Hey! You’re Sabrina from Gal Palz! Listen, the guys from marketing say I’m scaring off the kids. How would you like to be our new spokesperson?

Sabrina- <Ping> Me? Well, I have always wanted to do endorsements... and then, of course, directing...

Harvey- (Interrupting) Diva alert!

Sabrina- <Ping> Thanks. (To Lorraine) Look, raspy, just give me the antidote that’ll make this all go away.

Aunt Lorraine- Sorry kid. I just gave you a little of talent. The media and the public made you what you are today.

Harvey- Bitter. Hateful. Self-centred...

Sabrina- (Interrupting) Okay, we know what the problem is, Harvey.

Aunt Lorraine- And only they can tear you down.

Sabrina puts down the tin in frustration.

Harvey- What did she mean by ‘Tear you down’?

Sabrina- Who knows. She probably meant that society love to build people up and then tear them down. <Gasp!> That’s it! We just need to be torn down!

Harvey- ...Okay?

Sabrina- Gal Palz needs a scandal.

Int. National Superstars studio. Finals night. Zeke finishes his performance on stage and as the audience cheer, Colin runs on.

Colin- Zeke Tyler! (Shakes Zeke’ hand) Zeke, well done. And now, let’s welcome our last finalist... Gal Palz!

Morgan and Roxie enter brazenly flaunting their sexy outfits and smiling, loving the cheers. Sabrina sidles on behind them and stands at the back, hiding her face with her hands trying to keep out of the limelight.

Colin- (Cont.) Ladies, this is it. This is your big...

He spots Sabrina, hiding at the back.

Colin- (Cont.) Has someone come down with a sudden case of stage fright?

Sabrina- Nope. I’d just rather stay over here out of the limelight.

Colin- Out of the limelight? This is what it’s all about.

He waves his arm indicating the fans, the lights, the TV cameras.

Colin- (Cont.) (Aside) What is wrong with you?

Sabrina- Colin, I have to come clean.

She takes his Microphone.

Sabrina- (Cont.) I broke the rules of this contest. I’m a reporter for Scorch Magazine.

Gasps from the audience.

Sabrina- (Cont.) I posed as a contestant to get a story and I dragged my friends into it. I’m really sorry.

Colin- (Taking back his mic) Well I’m sorry because that means Gal Palz is disqualified!

Again, there are gasps and mutters from the audience and glares from Morgan and Roxie at Sabrina as Colin moves to the side of the stage and brings Zeke back onto the stage,

Colin- (Cont.) Which means the winner is Zeke Tyler!

Cheers and applause. Zeke’s fans, friends and family come on to congratulate him as Gal Palz are ignored and pushed aside. There the lonely ping of magic slipping out of the air for Sabrina and her friends.

Roxie- (To Sabrina) How could you?

Morgan- (To Sabrina) You’ve ruined everything.

Sabrina- I didn’t ruin everything. I saved something, our friendship?

Neither Morgan nor Roxie look too sure about that.

Sabrina- (Cont.) Look, I had to destroy Gal Palz with a ‘Z’ so that girl friends with an ‘S’ could survive.

Morgan- Oh my God, it’s really over.

Roxie- It’s like we don’t matter anymore.

Sabrina- But you guys matter to me!

She puts her arms around them.

Sabrina- (Cont.) And believe me, there was a time when I completely forgot that. You know, I got so wrapped up in my solo act, my acting career, my fragrance... No, I’m getting off track.

Roxie- I’m not saying it’s bad being a nobody. It actually feels kind of good to be a normal person.

Morgan- Oh Roxie, you’ll never be normal.

Sabrina- So you guys are okay with this? Just going back to be three regular girls living in a grannies house in the suburbs? No limos, no adoring fans, no perks?

Roxie- Except for the best one of all.

She puts her arm around Sabrina, smiling.

Sabrina- Morgan, are you all right with this?

Morgan- Yeah... Is the ‘No limos’ part negotiable?

Int. Spellman living room. The popcorn is out again as the housemates huddle together watching the TV.

Morgan- Oh, Suzanne is definitely gonna get the rose.

Roxie- No way! Chad is so over her. He’s giving the Rose to Cindy.

Sabrina- No-no-no. He’s giving Cindy the boot. It’s going to be Jennifer.

Morgan- Hey, you know what? I heard this show is coming to Boston next week. Maybe we should...

Sabrina- (Interrupting) Turn off the TV.

She points the remote at the TV and with a click it goes black. A few seconds later and another click brings it back to show that Sabrina is on her own watching.

Morgan & Roxie- (OS)(Yelling) Sabrina!

She quickly turns it off again.

Run Credits.



Pic of the Week